A Series of (Un?)Fortunate Circumstances
by TheRedDragon173
Summary: Kanda is the smartest guy in school, aloof and cold. Allen is the new kid, playful and mischievous, a hot contender to take Kanda's place (much to his annoyance). They both have their own pain to hide, hearts hardened by time and cruel people. Will these two become unlikely friends, and perhaps... even more? [potentially OOC] [TW: cutting] [High School AU]
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM! Obviously. Katsura Hoshino does, and we all wish her the best, because we miss her and her awesome manga! **

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**WARNING! PLEASE READ!**

**There is a very large chance that this story will contain very dark themes like self harm, mental illness, homophobia, ect. I have not decided with 100% certainty yet, but the chances are very high. If these topics upset or trigger you, PLEASE be careful. I PROMISE to alert you at the top of the chapter if such themes are involved, and if they do end up in the story I will also place them in the overall story description. **

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**Without further ado, let's begin! **

**I hope you enjoy! :) **

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I never really considered that things would turn out like this, you know. To me, life was always… pretty meaningless. Get up, train, eat, go to school, eat, do my homework, train, eat, take a shower, go to sleep… I never really thought there would ever be anything to break the monotonous nature of my life. But I guess that's just how the world works, huh? It lulls you into a false sense of security, and then one day… WHAM! It just punches you right in the face.

All my life, I'd been waiting, without ever even realizing it, for… _something_. I never thought that there might be someone who felt the same, someone else like me. Not that you'd think the two of us have anything in common. The two of us, we're like night and day, that damn moyashi and I.

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How is it, that someone so irritating, someone so infuriating, can turn out to be so similar to you? Why does the world have to work in such a way that the one guy in school you want to punch the living daylights out of is the only one who seems to understand you, and the way you feel?

Honestly, if just a little while ago you would have told me that I'd end up going out with Yuu Kanda, of all people, I probably would have tried to check you into a mental institution, because _obviously_ something isn't working right upstairs. But now… I can honestly say that he means the world to me, and sometimes even _I_ still wonder why. I guess that's just the way things are. They _do_ say the world works in mysterious ways, don't they? And all it took was one moment in time, one glorious coincidence. Or a series of them, I guess.

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**I hope it was an interesting start. :) **

**The following chapters will of course be longer; this was just the introduction. :) **


	2. In the Beginning

**Disclaimer: I don't own -Man. **

**Warning: Kanda has a mouth on him. **

***The chapters will probably alternate Kanda's and Allen's POV. Probably. I'll always let you know who's talking, though, so don't worry. :) ***

**I hope you enjoy! :) **

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**Kanda POV **

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"OY! Yuu!"

"Don't call me that, you damned rabbit!" I yelled at the overexcited redhead. _It is __way__ too early in the morning for this._

"Did you hear the big news?" Lavi continued, unperturbed, "Apparently we're getting a new transfer student – from England! How cool is that? His name's Allen Walker, and he's apparently some kind of musical genius."

I sighed, not even questioning Lavi's well-informed-ness. As annoying as he may be, I have to hand it to him, he does have a knack for finding things out, _especially_ if they're no concern of his. "It just so happens that I _did_ know we had a transfer student coming. It also happens that I really don't care. Honestly. I _really_ don't care." But of course that wasn't enough to shut him up.

"I wonder if he'll be in any of our classes? … Hey, Yuu," he mused, while I growled at him, "are you ok? You look kinda… not ok."

"I'm fine," I stated matter-of-factly, "I just had a late night getting all that damn homework done for that fucking AP Chemistry class. Shitty Kamui…"

"Ah man, that's it? And here I was hoping you were having love troubles or something, and I could take this opportunity to give you some sage advice…"

"If you don't shut up right this second, I _swear_ I will kill you. And besides," I scoffed, "what do _you_ know about love, anyway? Last time I checked, you've never _once_ had any luck with a girl. Even now, the one you have a crush on is the little sister of a deranged, psychopath mad scientist. How exactly do you intend to give _sage advice_?"

"Yuu, be gentler," the eyepatched teen whined, "you're _way_ too mean. No one's ever gonna like you with that attitude."

"Who says I want them to?" I snapped. We had finally reached the entrance to the school, and we made our way up the stairs and inside. Honestly, I'd really prefer to ditch the red-headed moron, but unfortunately we live near each other, and our families are friends, so no matter how much I might try to hide, he always finds me. And I'm not a big fan of hiding, so I just sort of have to grin and bear it. Not that I grin – I scowl.

We separated in the hallway to head to our first period classes. He had Journalism, and I had AP English, which he took last year. We're both seniors, in our final year of High School before reaching that much longed-for beacon of hope, graduation. Lavi says he wants to be a Historian. I have absolutely no idea _what_ I want to be.

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**I hope you enjoyed! :) **

**The next chapter's done, too - it's longer than this. :) **


	3. Allen Arrives

**Disclaimer: I still don't own DGM. **

**I hope you enjoy! :) **

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**Allen POV**

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"So these are the classes you'll be taking, and the classrooms are listed right next to them. I understand from your transfer papers that you have completed classes much harder than those offered at this school, so we organized your schedule to make it as challenging as possible, as per your request. And you shouldn't have to worry about catching up on work that they've already done, seeing as how it's only the second week of the semester. Even the AP kids have barely settled in to their classes. I'm sure you'll be able to make friends in no time. Do you have any questions?"

"Uuuhhhhh…" I rifled through the stack of papers, white bangs hanging into my eyes. "Is there anyone that I have all of my classes with? It would be nice to stick close to them; they might be able to help me."

"Well," the secretary thought out loud, looking through something on her computer screen, "there is _one_ boy – his name is Yuu Kanda."

"Is he Japanese?"

"As a matter of fact, he is!" The secretary smiled. It looked kind of depressing though – she looked like she hadn't slept on a week. "Will there be anything else, then?"

"No, thank you for your help, Ms. Lotto."

"Oh, dear me, just call me Miranda, all the children do."

"All right. Thank you, and have a nice day, Ms. Miranda."

"You too…" She waved, smiling in a dazed fashion. _Is she ok?_

Sighing, I left the Main Office and began to make my way towards the classroom where AP English would be held. A quick glance at my watch told me it was only 7:45, which meant I still had 15 minutes. Hopefully, plenty of time to find the darn place. Why did new schools always have to be so big? I felt a bit of nausea well of inside me, but I breathed deeply, and it went away. _This is nothing but another performance; there is nothing to fear._

Thanks to the insane nature of my foster father, Cross Marian, not to mention his insane _debts_, we had had to move, _again_. Even though I was used to the nomad lifestyle from the time I spent in the circus when I was younger, this move had been particularly hard for me. We'd been in England, in London, for two and a half years, and I had really gotten used to it. Even more than that, I'd grown to love it; the winding alleyways, the bustling boulevards, the creative energy that the city just seemed to produce form absolutely nowhere. I had even begun to think that we would be able to stay. But _no_, because my Master gambles, and he gambles _badly_. So we were on the road again, and this time it was _America_, the land of the free, supposedly. Free from his old debts, my Master seems to hope. But I just feel trapped. Not by him of course. I haven't seen hide nor hair of him since we arrived. That's actually why I'm a week late coming to school here. I had to find the house, and unpack everything, all on my own. And I have a _really_ bad sense of direction.

Whatever. New school, new people; who cares? The piano is the only outlet, the only _freedom_, I need. Lucky for me, the people who sold us their house left a grand piano in it. Sure it's old and out of tune, but that's a weekend project, at most, and it'll be worth it, because it's a beauty.

Finally I arrived in front of the classroom, and found there were already a couple students milling around inside. I stood in the doorway, uncertain. Should I go in? Where would I sit? I wouldn't want to accidentally take someone else's seat. So I guess I should wait for the teacher? But what about until then? I'd forgotten how stressful being the new kid could be…

"Hey, Moyashi, get out of the way."

I whipped around to find myself facing a guy that looked like he stepped straight out of some samurai drama and only bothered to change his clothes. He was (assumedly) Japanese, really tall, well-built, with a long, black pony tail pinned high up on his head.

"Hey, are you lost? Or are you deaf? I said _move_."

Suddenly I snapped out of my reverie. "Who are you calling a _bean sprout_?! I'm not _that_ short! And honestly, could you _be_ any ruder? We've never even met before, and you're already insulting me!"

"Remind me again why I should care? You're in my way and I want you to move. Also, you're damn loud, and it's _really_ early in the morning," he drawled.

Fuming, I stormed into the room, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of moving aside to allow him in first. I turned around and watched him come in rolling his eyes and sit down in the back of the room. Then I found myself faced with a dilemma. I had come inside already, so I couldn't just leave. But what should I do until the teacher arrived? I didn't particularly want to just stand awkwardly in the corner, but I didn't want to approach anyone either. Fortunately, my problem soon solved itself as a green-haired girl in a miniskirt and thigh-high boots made her way towards me.

"Hi! I'm Lenalee Lee. You must be Allen Walker, right?" She smiled kindly at me.

Relief swept through me. "Yes, nice to meet you, Lenalee," I smiled back, extending a hand in greeting. She shook it with both of hers, and I took an instant liking to the girl.

"I saw your little argument with Kanda – we all did. And on behalf of the class, I would like to relay our awe of you for standing up to him. And on behalf of the school, I would like to ask you not to take it personally, because he's always like that, and the rest of us aren't."

I chuckled, "I'll bet he's popular, though."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because he's _totally_ got the bad boy charm. Judging from what you've hold me, he's the type that that doesn't like anyone, but that a lot of people secretly like or admire. And with a body like that, who can blame 'em?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Not that it's really my place, but are you gay? Just.. judging by that last comment, I kinda thought…"

I laughed again, "People seem to think that, but no. I am 100% heterosexual." That was a lie – I was bisexual, and very well aware of it, but no way was I gonna tell _her_ that. She may seem nice, but I've seen the evil people's hearts can hold.

Lenalee blushed, "Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I shrugged, "innocent mistake. Anyway, you said his name was Kanda? As in, Yuu Kanda?"

"Yes, that's right. But how'd you know his full name?"

"I asked the secretary in the Main Office if there was anyone who had all the same classes as me, and she said he did," I sighed, inclining my head in his direction.

"Wow, you have Kanda's schedule? That's a lot of tough classes. I only have him in two – here and in AP Chem."

"Cool, then I guess we'll be together in those two," I smiled at her, "should make them a bit more bearable."

She laughed. "Yes, I think so. In fact, I have an empty seat next to me in both classes. Would you like the honor of filling them?" She winked, jokingly.

"Madam, I would love to," I stated solemnly, accompanying my words with a mock bow. Then, taking her hand and laughing, the two of us went and sat down, at which point she began to fill me in on what they'd done until then. Or conversation was cut short as the teacher entered the room and put us to work, but I knew we would continue talking in the next break. Maybe this school wasn't going to be so bad…

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**I kind of felt like the ending was a bit rushed. :/ Oh well. I didn't really know how to end it. Fellow writers, advice would be golden, for next time's sake. :) **

**I hope you enjoyed! **


	4. Suckerpunch

**Disclaimer: (Honestly, do I even need to say it?) I don't own -Man. **

**Warning: Kanda has a mouth and is kinda violent. **

**Enjoy! :) **

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**Kanda POV**

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That damn _moyashi_… Because of him, I'm pretty sure Lenalee is mad at me now. Which means Lavi will be mad at me. Great, just great. Not that it really matters what they think, it's just that when Lavi's unhappy about something, he's even more of a pest than usual. And that's really saying something.

Whatever. It'll all die down in a couple days or so. But I mean, what was I supposed to do? He was showing me up in AP Calculus – I couldn't have that.

So at this point you're probably wondering what the Hell I'm going on about, so here goes.

After AP English, my next class is AP Calculus, which I was pretty annoyed to notice the damn moyashi follow me to. Since then I've unfortunately been forced to realize that we have _every damn class together_. Which is, I must admit, sort of astounding. As much as I hate to admit it, that means he must be pretty smart. But that honestly only pisses me off even more.

_Anyway_, we were in class, doing practice and review problems. Pretty easy stuff. After we were done, we were supposed to raise our hands for the next set. _And he finished his problems first_. That doesn't happen. _No one_ finishes before I do. That's the way it's always been, and that's the way I intend for it to stay. Which now means I'm going to have to increase my study time, damn it.

And at the end of the class, seeing as how the beansprout and I were pretty much racing each other with the problems, the teacher called for two volunteers in a contest to solve a problem in front of the class. Now, I'm not usually the active, participates-in-class type, but my pride was at stake. So, the white-haired geezer and I raised our hands and got called out. _And he finished first_. Not by much, mind you, just a couple seconds. But _still_.

And afterwards, he just smirks at me. He _smirks_. And what does he say?

"Guess you're not as great as you thought, huh?"

So I decked him. I got sent to the principal's office for it, and got detention to boot, but it was worth it. I just suckerpunched that mother straight to the ground. And _damn_ did it feel good. Plus, I'm pretty sure I upped my street cred.

Still, it sucks that Lenalee is gonna be mad at me over this. She's pretty much the only person whose opinion I actually care about. But no matter what she says, I was in the right. _I was in the right._

I sighed. I was at home now, doing my homework for tomorrow, and even here that damn kid is on my mind. I wonder why? I guess… it might be because of his arm. I noticed it in school – his left arm is covering in a glove. But I'm probably over-thinking this. And why am I thinking about it anyway?! I should go train – that always helps calm me down. And I _have_ to calm down. I have an entire year left with that brat, or a semester at the very least, so I have to learn to at least tolerate him enough that I don't hit him every day in class. That'll probably be worse for me than him, as far as permanent records and college applications go. Honestly, why do things have to be like this? I miss Alma… And that damn moyashi reminds me too much of him…

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	5. Aftermath and Relationships

**Disclaimer: I do not own DGM. **

**Warnings: Nothing too serious, just a sad part at the end. Also hints at neglect, or potential emotional abuse. **

**I hope you enjoy. :)**

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**Allen POV**

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"Oooowwwww…" I groaned, pressing the ice pack clutched tightly in my hand to my chin. _I am __sooo__ never going to boast, __or__ egg him on __ever again_.

Lenalee sat in front of me, her eyes wide and concerned. "I can't believe Kanda did that to you. He's had a history of threatening violence, and he's not afraid to beat up people who try to hurt him, but this? Just going after someone who didn't do anything and suckerpunching him _in class_? I know he's done crazy things before, but this is just ridiculous! Honestly! He's lucky he didn't get suspended!"

"Yeah, well, it wasn't entirely his fault. I did sorta goad him into it. I had it coming."

"Still! He does martial arts! He could have done serious damage! He seriously needs to learn to control his impulses!" She said fiercely. Then her eyes softened again, and she petted my hair gently. "I'm sorry. Here I am, going on and worrying about Kanda, when I should be comforting you. Are you gonna be ok? Do you need to visit a doctor?"

I laughed softly, "No, don't worry. Give it a couple days, and I'll be completely fine. I've had worse," I added with a smile.

"Really?" She seemed quite surprised, and if anything, even more concerned.

"Yeah. Not punches, per se, but I've had some bad falls and accidents and such," I told her, doing my best to smile reassuringly.

"Oh, well, if you're sure…"She still seemed uncertain. Suddenly, an idea seemed to pop into her head. "That's right! Where do you live? Should we call your parents to come pick you up?"

I flinched, but I don't think she saw. Honestly, I can't imagine Cross coming to get me. But _if_ they managed to get in touch with him, and that's a pretty big if, whether he came or not, he'd be _pissed_ at me for interrupting whatever date or game or whatever he was in the middle of when they called. If he wasn't doing anything, Hell, even if he was just sitting at home, bored, he'd still yell. Of course, it wasn't like I could tell her any of this. So I just settled for, "Nope, I'm fine. I can make it home on my own, I won't die on the road there" accompanied by a grin and a wink.

Just then a red-head with an eye patch covering his right eye walked in. The other eye was a gorgeous emerald green, and was brimming with what I thought was feigned concern.

"Hey there, you ok, Allen?" The strange teen asked, "I'm Lavi Bookman, by the way."

"Nice to meet you," I responded uncertainly, "and I'm getting better; thanks."

He sat down next to Lenalee and scrutinized my face. I lifted the ice pack off for a moment to give him a better view and he whistled.

"Wow! That is _definitely_ gonna bruise. Yuu really did a number on you, didn't he?"

"Yeah, that's for sure," I chuckled, "but did you just call him _Yuu_? I was under the impression everyone just called him Kanda."

"Well, Kanda prefers that, and mostly it's advisable to go along with what Kanda prefers. But Lavi here enjoys taunting him – I swear he's turned running away from Mugen into an art form. Sometimes I wonder if he has a death wish," Lenalle informed me, rolling her eyes at the grinning red-head.

"What's a 'Mugen'?" I asked, confused.

"It's his sword," Lenalee answered.

"He has a _sword_? And he _carries it around_?"

"He has multiple, actually," Lavi responded, tossing a pen up and down while leaning back in his chair, "because he practices kendo. And he's pretty good at it – from what I know, he has scholarship offers from 17 different colleges due to his achievements in competitions. He also has an upstanding invitation from the international Kendo Association, as well as both the Japanese and American Olympic Kendo teams. But Mugen's his favorite. I think it's some sort of heirloom or something."

"Wow. You know quite a lot about Kanda," I told him, raising my eyebrows.

Lavi shrugged. "I make it my business to know a lot about everything. I wanna be a Historian, ya see?" He grinned at me, and the pen he'd been tossing about bounced off his head and onto the ground, from where he retrieved it with a shrug.

"Right. Well, what about me? Do you know anything about me?" I asked grinning mischievously, though inside I was really hoping the answer would be "no".

Lavi shrugged again. "Not much. You're from London, you play the piano, Marian Cross is your foster father… That's about it."

"I see."

"Wait… Marian Cross? As in the _General_ Marian Cross?"Lenalee asked, eyes widened in shock.

"Yes; do you know him?" I asked, worried.

"Not really, but my brother Kamui does. He's our AP Chem teacher. Apparently they both belong to some group of international scholars called the Black Order."

"There are members of the Black Order _here_?" I raised my eyebrows in concern. "Better not tell Cross that – he'll high-tail it out of town faster than you can say 'gone with the wind'. He's not a big fan of the Order – he doesn't like anything that tries to tie him down in any way."

"I see. I'll keep quiet about it then, and tell my brother to do the same," Lenalee smiled at me reassuringly.

"Thanks," I grinned, "I'd prefer not to have to move again yet."

After that we continued chatting for a while, and then eventually ended up leaving the school together. I found that Lavi, though a bit overly energetic, was a pretty cool guy. His taste in music was good, and he had an interesting sense of humor. I kind of got the feeling that he and Lenalee might like each other – I wish them the best; they'd probably suit each other well.

I got home around 5 in the afternoon, and found the house dark and empty. As my first order of business, I made myself pasta. After that, I did my homework. By the time I was done it was a little past nine, so I took a shower and had myself a late night snack. After brushing my teeth and getting everything ready for the next day, I went up to my room and sat down in front of the mirror with a picture of my adoptive father.

"Hey, Mana," I whispered, "I had a good day today. I'm pretty sure I've managed to make some friends. Lavi seems like a fun guy that I might be able to hang out with, and Lenalee is really nice." I stared at the silent picture, and felt tears begin to prick my eyes. "I still miss you though, Mana. I know you told me to keep walking, to keep moving forward, but that's pretty hard to do without you here." I waited for a response but of course got none, and with a sigh I replaced the picture on my desk and went to bed, my cheeks still wet with tears.

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	6. The Day After

**Disclaimer: I still don't own -Man. **

**Warnings: underage smoking**

**I hope you enjoy! :) **

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**Kanda POV**

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_I just __knew__ this was gonna happen._

Lavi had spent the entire morning bitching at me about my treatment of the moyashi. _That damn rabbit…_ And as for Lenalee… She just glared at me, then swept right past with her chin held high. Jeez… I know I went too far with the moyashi; I shouldn't have hit him, no matter _how_ much he wound me up. Well… I shouldn't have done it _in class_. At the very least I should have waited until the end of the day. But I still don't see what the big deal is. I mean, so yeah, I punched a kid; but he deserved it! Why should I get punished for it?

I slammed my locker shut irritably, and saw a freshman nearly jump out of their skin. Glancing around, I noticed with a sigh and a roll of my eyes that there was no one within 5 feet of me. My suspicions were confirmed – apparently, the rumor mill was turning, and the story had _already_ gotten around the whole school, despite the fact that the event in question had only occurred yesterday. No doubt it had ballooned, too, into a story about a tragic prince getting beaten up by a ruthless gangster. _I really hate people…_

I strode through the hallways, watching with some amusement as the crowd of students parted in front of me as if they were the Red Sea, and I was Moses. People always avoided me, but this was sorta new. _Actually, I could get used to this…_ _No more struggling to get to my classes on time, at the very least._ Combat boots stomping on the floor, I made my way to my AP Calculus class, wondering whether today would be as eventful as yesterday.

Putting my books down, I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms. My eyes flickered over to the other corner of the room, were the beansprout was being surrounded by a crowd of people. "Che." I looked away angrily. _Just like __him__… Always smiling, always surrounded by people, always happy. At least on the outside._ I glanced back for a moment, then away again. Turning, I looked out the window, propping my head up on my arm as I did so, my curled fingers covering my mouth. Then, realizing that that particular pose was a little too introspective, and not enough Kanda, I crossed my arms again. But my eyes remained fixed on a hawk that circled outside, diving and climbing in the air.

_I wish I could be like that. Free to roam wherever I please._ Now, obviously I know that the life of a hawk is not all joy. It doesn't take AP Biology to know that, not that I hadn't taken it. All creatures had their problems, not only as a species, but as individuals, as well. _Alma…_

The teacher came in just at that moment. His name is Bak Chang, and he's hopeless. A total scatterbrain. It's not that he's an idiot, it's just… he usually can't quite utilize his brain correctly. Like yesterday. I smirked at the memory.

_"Kanda! You… you… go sit down." _

_"Allen… you go see the nurse." _

_With a vague, confused face, Bak Chang pointed out the window. "Her office is that way." _

Returning to the present, I saw Bak up in front of the class, informing everyone that he wanted to check homework, make sure it was all done. With a long-suffering sigh, I pulled out the papers scrawled full of numbers and operations. When he got to me, he ruffled through the papers, checking my answers quickly.

"Perfect as always, Kanda," he nodded.

I waited, expecting him to move on. But he just stared at me quizzically and sighed.

"If it all possible, I _would_ like to avoid a repeat of yesterday, ok?" He sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "Also, I'd like to see you after class – there's something we need to discuss," he then started suddenly, as if realizing something, and continued hastily, "you're not in trouble; I just wanna talk something over." And with that, he left, only to begin grumbling when he figured out that the person behind me didn't have their work done.

The rest of the class passed pretty uneventfully. I think after yesterday, he was trying his best to prevent a situation in which the moyashi and I would have cause to compete, and potentially end up in another fight. Afterwards, as the rest of the class filed out, I made my way up to the front of the room, to Bak Chang's desk.

"So? What is it?" I asked gruffly.

He studied me for a moment, then stood up and leaned himself against the front of his desk, mirroring my own pose exactly.

"Actually, I was going to ask you that very same question."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean?"

He sighed again; he seems to be doing that a lot recently. Is it my fault? No way…

"Kanda. You've never had a lot of friends, and you're always surly and angry-looking. But I've never seen you actually _lose it_ like that." He looked me straight in the eyes. "I'm worried about you. Is there something wrong?"

I clenched my jaw and breathed out through my nose, keeping my temper in check.

"No. Thank you for your concern, _Mr. Chang_, but I'm fine." I continued meeting his gaze; I didn't even blink. "May I go now?"

He looked at me sadly, but then, with a shake of his head, he motioned that I could leave. With a nod, I acquiesced.

"What am I gonna do with him?" I thought I heard him mutter as he sat back down in his chair, and I left the room.

I stormed through the slowly emptying hallways with murder in my eyes, glaring at anyone and anything that came within my line of vision. I had my lunch period next, which meant I could do whatever I wanted; all of my homework was done, after all. So I left the school building. I went outside, in the back.

It was my favorite places to be during the day. I'd already carefully surveyed the area, and had figured out that it was a blind spot on campus. There were no windows or security cameras from which I could be seen. Of course, it's not like I'm the only one who knows this.

"Hey, kiddo. You look upset," I heard from my right. Turning, I was completely unsurprised to find myself face to face with Tykki Mikk. He was leaning with one shoulder against the wall, smoking a cigarette.

"Just a stupid teacher poking his nose into stuff that's none of his damn business," I sighed, placing my back and one foot against the wall.

"Would this have anything to do with the fiasco from yesterday that I keep hearing about?"

I looked at him with a wry grin. "That would depend quite strongly on what you've heard."

He laughed and offered me a cigarette, which I gladly accepted and lit.

"Well, the way I heard it, you and a bunch of your thug underlings beat up 10-year-old girl."

I groaned, "I just _knew_ the story would get distorted."

"To be quite honest, I did find it kinda unlikely, for a lot of reasons," Tykki shrugged, "so what really _did_ happen?"

"I suckerpunched the new kid in my AP Calculus class."

Tykki just stared at me for a moment, mouth hanging open. I'm surprised the cigarette didn't fall out. Then he just doubled over laughing.

For a moment I glared at him in annoyance, but his laughter was contagious, and I ended up chuckling, myself. "I guess it sounds pretty bad when I put it like that."

"Are you kidding me?! It sounds _hilarious_! That is _so_ much better that the version I heard," he managed, finally straightening up, still grinning, and wiping tears from his eyes.

After that, the two of us stayed there, smoking and chatting for another 20 minutes, when I regretfully informed him that I had to go.

He copied my motions and crushed his cigarette. "No worries; I have class too, remember?"

We waved goodbye in the hallway and made our way to our next classes. I popped in two sticks of mint gum to get rid of the cigarette smell. I was under 18, so I could get in serious trouble with the teachers if they found out, and that would be a real bother. I wondered if Tykki did the same.

Honestly, I'm not too sure how Tykki and I became friends, if you can call us that. We don't really talk much, but he's just about the only person I've ever met that I can actually get along with. Except for Alma, of course…

I was so lost in thought, I didn't even notice anyone approaching.

"Eeewwww… Dude, you smell like cigarettes."

"And what's it to you?!" I growled, turning around to find myself face-to-face with the disgusted face of the moyashi. My eyes widened just a smidge. After yesterday, I couldn't believe he was even able to talk to me.

"Look, I live around adults who smoke, too. Taking more baths can _really_ help with that."

My eyes narrowed. "I take plenty of baths, thank you very much." My eyes flickered up to his hair. "But you could do with a few more, yourself. Maybe then you could wash the white out of your hair."

He glared at me. "It's _natural_."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right. Now, if you'd be so kind as to leave, that would be great."

"Why should I be kind to _you_? You punched me, remember?"

"That's right, I did. And the longer you stay here, pissing me off, the closer I get to punching you again!" I hissed, stepping forward.

Just then, as he was opening his mouth to respond, the bell rang, the door right next to us swung open, and students began filing out. Catching sight of the two of us, squared off with each other, they immediately began to whisper, pointing.

"Che. Saved by the bell, moyashi," I growled.

"Don't assume I needed saving, BaKanda,"

"… _What_ did you just call me?"

"Ba-Kan-da," he articulated, seeming quite pleased with himself.

"Oh, that is _it_!" I was just about to pounce at him when our AP Chemistry teacher, Kamui, suddenly appeared between us.

"Is there a problem, gentlemen?" He asked, light glinting off the frames of his glasses.

The two of us glared at each other, but replied with simply "No", and strode past him into the classroom.

* * *

**So, how was it? I hope you enjoyed! :) **

**I promise I'll start getting more into Kanda's problems soon. **

**Also, thank you so much to everyone who favorited, followed, and commented! You guys made me really happy! :)**


	7. Pianos and Dreams

**Disclaimer: I don't own DGM. **

**I hope you enjoy. :) **

* * *

**Allen POV**

* * *

After all the excitement of the first two days, I was pretty surprised to reach the weekend without another incident. Apparently Kanda decided I wasn't worth his time and effort. That, or he just doesn't wanna get into any more trouble because of me.

Anyway, things definitely went uphill for me after getting punched in the face. It turns out, I was right about Kanda being pretty popular. And because he normally doesn't give people the time of day, the fact that I actually managed to stir up the Ice Prince has made me go from "freaky new kid" to "mysterious, cool guy" in just the course of a week. It looks like I picked the right person to piss off. I honestly feel like I could maybe learn to like this place now.

Of course, all of this is not to say that Kanda and I are getting along, or that "fame has gone to my head", as they say. I honestly don't think I'm ever going to be able to be anywhere within 5 feet of the guy without the two of starting into a screaming match that will probably eventually broil down to a full-fledged fist fight. And I wouldn't say I've become popular, either, just accepted. And that is _so_ much more important.

Lenalee asked me today if I wanted to go to a party tonight, but I turned her down, telling her that I wanted to fix our grand piano. And that's how Friday night finds me on the floor of my living room, tools and things scattered all around me while I attempt to tune the darn thing. It's pretty frustrating work, but I know it'll be worth it in the end.

Not that I know what sort of pieces I should practice, really. My old piano teacher in London, Noise Marie, obviously didn't follow me here. We exchanged Skype addresses before I came, but with time differences and such, it'll probably be pretty difficult to actually talk face-to-face. And giving me piece titles through e-mails just isn't the same. Maybe I'll record my playing, and send the recordings to him. Hopefully, he'll be able to help me out somewhat like that. Still, it would be better to find myself a new piano teacher here, though that may be difficult.

Most piano teachers have ridiculously strict rules about the way you comport yourself and even what you wear when you play the piano. Marie wasn't like that. He accepted that I refused to take off my left glove, or ever wear short sleeved shirts. He never asked why it was – he just accepted my limitations and let them be. Most people wouldn't; they would ask, and keep asking until you told. I guess having a disability makes a person more accepting towards others. Marie went deaf after an accident when he was younger. It was only a few years ago, 20 years after the original accident, that he was able to get surgery which restored his hearing. And yet, despite his deafness, he still managed to become one of the most esteemed pianists in the entire world. Getting the chance to learn from him was truly an honor.

Hours passed, but eventually, by 11 p.m., I'd finally managed it. Feeling quite pleased with myself, I cleaned up the mess I'd made, and sat down to play. I let the emotions of the past few weeks wash over me, and just let them spill out onto the keys. Before I knew it, I was running around to find the blank sheet music pages, and filling them in with the melodies that my fingers etched out. When I'd finished, and played my new composition through 7 times, just to make sure it was absolutely perfect, at least for the moment, I looked up at the clock. My eyes widened. It was 5 in the morning; the sun as already coming up!

Getting up, I groaned as I stretched. I hadn't even realized it while I was playing, but I'd stayed up all night, and the lack of sleep began to take its toll. Deciding I would shower once I woke up, I flopped down on the couch, and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up 10 hours later from a strange dream, which I proceeded to write down in my Dream Journal. I'd started keeping it 6 years ago, when I realized how many of my dreams seemed to center themselves around the same figures and situations.

Generally, they appeared like vague memories, from what almost seemed to me to be a previous life. The dreams tended to involve large, floating monsters, and a group of people (me among them) who had to fight and destroy them. Occasionally I also saw weird people, too, with grey skin, who also appeared to count amongst my enemies. Well, sometimes. At other times I treated them like friends. I don't really understand why.

But today I hadn't dreamed of monsters – I'd dreamed of lotus blossoms, and a tall, dark samurai. I swear he looked almost like Kanda. Honestly, if he's appearing in my _dreams_ now, I've been spending _way_ too much time thinking about him. Though, come to think of it, I've seen the samurai in my dreams before. He's almost always there, actually; supporting me from the shadows. I guess I'm just associating him with Kanda because Kanda looks like he belongs in some sort of Japanese drama about the Tokugawa Shogunate. That, or in a kimono at an anime convention.

Still, it was a nice dream. It left me sorta sad, but at least I didn't have to relive the night I lost Mana in my dreams again. I _really_ hate those nights.

Sighing, I decided I'd get my homework done today, so that I'd have Sunday free. But first, a snack.

* * *

**So, did you like it? I hope so. :) **

**Thank you again to everyone who favorited, commented, or followed. It made me really happy. :) **

**Unfortunately, I won't be updating aga****in for at least a week, because I'm going on a trip. Sorry about that. :( **

**Just like with Kanda, I _will_ start to get into the heart of the matter with Allen soon. I just don't want to rush things; I want to take it nice and slow. Both with the reveal of their problems, as well as the eventual building of their relationship. :) **

**Thank you for reading! **

***Also, as a sidenote: This is not a reincarnation!au. I just use the dreams as a rather convenient plot point. ***


	8. The Strings of Memory

**Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I in any way affiliated with, -Man. **

**IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ: So starting with this chapter, I'm raising the rating of the story to M. There still shouldn't be anything particularly triggering in this particular chapter, but I can tell what direction this story is going in, and it's going to involve some pretty dark themes. Also, I would like to write a more mature yullen scene towards the end. ;) No worries, though; I will continue to place warnings at the beginning of each chapter regarding the topics exhibited. Actually, regarding this, I have a question. Would some of you like me to include chapter summaries at the bottom for those of you who find the warnings make you reluctant to read the chapter itself? Please either message me, or leave comments concerning this. I'd be more than happy to do it. :) **

**Warnings: hints at either anxiety or post traumatic stress disorder; underage, (illegal? - depends on quite a few as yet indeterminate factors) drug use (marijuana)**

**I hope you enjoy! :) **

* * *

**Kanda POV**

* * *

"I'm home!" I called as I stepped through the door. There was no answer, obviously – there never is. Kinda makes me wonder why I even say it. Sitting down on the chair near the door, I proceeded to remove my shoes and put them away. I then made my way past the entrance hall and into the living room, where, with a sigh, I dropped my book bag and slumped down onto the couch.

My eyes roamed over the room. Everything was exactly as I'd left it that morning. _Which means no one's been home,_ I realized. _Don't know why I'm surprised…_ With a roll of my eyes, I pushed myself up and proceeded to make my way into the kitchen. Soon enough I was cooking soba.

Soba was my favorite meal. It reminded me of home, a bit, and my family. Not that I'd really ever known them. My parents died in a house fire when I was 4, and I was brought up by old friends of theirs. That's how I met Alma. _Alma…_

I scowled. _You are __not__ going to cry. You ran of tears years ago, remember?_ Realizing the soba was finished, I sat down at the table to eat. I then cleaned up afterwards. It's better to wash the dishes right after you eat, that way you don't have them weighing on your mind all day.

Alma had thought differently. He had believed in living in the moment, having fun _now_, and leaving responsibilities until they damn near beat your door down. But maybe it was better that way. He hadn't lived long, but at least he had thoroughly enjoyed the time he'd had…

_Alma's death…_ I felt my heart rate speed up, and my breath began to come in shallow gasps. I gripped the counter as I slowly slipped to the ground. _Nononono! Stop thinking! STOP STOP STOP STOP! Quick, think of something else; ANYTHING!_ I glanced around in my state of near-panic and noticed a star-shaped magnet on the fridge. The sight of it reminded me of the tattoo that the damn moyashi had over his left eye. _Who even __gets__ a tattoo on their face, anyway? And he's under 18, isn't he? What kind of parent/guardian lets their kid get a facial tattoo?! I mean, dying their hair white, or wearing steampunk clothes is one thing, but tattoos are __permanent__! I mean sure, I have one, too, but that's different! Mine's on my chest, not on my __face__!_

It came as a bit of a shock to realize that I'd managed to avoid having an anxiety attack by thinking of the young geezer. Sighing, I got up off the ground and made my way towards my room. When I was like this, when I was feeling _this_ unbalanced, other than kendo, very few things could actually help. And the others… well, let's just say they're things I'd prefer to avoid.

I ended up spending a grand total of 4 hours in the dojo. I was actually pretty lucky to find a house with a traditional dojo in it in a suburb in the US, but apparently the guy who lived here before me was a Japanese nut who ended up moving to Japan, fulfilling his dream. Good for him. Honestly, people amaze me sometimes. How far they'll go for something so stupid…

_Not that__ he__ didn't go far…_ I clutched my chest and told myself to breath slowly. _In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. _ With a sigh I left the dojo, and made a beeline for the bathroom. A quick shower was enough to raise my tension level even higher, as there's really nothing you can do in a shower except _think._ So afterwards I hurried to get my homework done. I was lucky I didn't have much, and what I did have was pretty easy. I'd study on Sunday; right now, I needed my cure.

After everything was done and put away, I made sure all the doors were locked, all the windows were shut, all the blinds were drawn, and all the lights were off. Then, in the darkness of my room, I lit a candle, and with the relief building inside me before I even lit the joint, I felt my mouth curve into a shaky smile.

_Now… Off to dream land…_

* * *

**So... how was it? I hope you enjoyed. :) **

**Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has followed, favorited or commented! I love you guys so much! =^.^= It honestly makes me so happy to know that you guys like my writing. It really means a lot. :) **

**Hope to see you again! :) **

**- Red**


	9. Histories and Plans

**Disclaimer: (Do I even need to say it?) I don't own DGM. **

**Warnings: hints at experiencing the negative effects of homophobia in the past **

**I hope you enjoy! :) **

* * *

**Allen POV**

* * *

The weekend had come and gone. I'd played the piano for the vast majority of it, reveling in the feeling of being surrounded by music. I played pieces from all different eras and composers, and a fair few that I just came up with on the fly. Sure, I had to do my homework and study a bit, but for the most part, the weekend had been marvelous. The fact that Cross _still_ hadn't made it home only made it all the better.

And now it was Monday, and I was sitting in the AP English classroom, waiting for the bell to ring. Lenalee had alerted me via text message that she wasn't feeling well, and wouldn't be coming today, and had asked that I take notes for her. I had, of course, gladly acquiesced.

I glanced up to notice Kanda walking through the door. I frowned, expecting my quiet morning to go all to Hell. But nothing happened. He went straight to his seat, pulled out his stuff, and leaned back in his chair with his eyes closed. I noticed that his shirt was pretty tight on him – it displayed his 6-pack _perfectly_.

Blushing slightly, I turned away quickly. Why did the worst types of people always have to look the best? It just wasn't fair! It also wasn't fair that I had to be attracted to that body type. Suddenly I froze. _Attracted to him?_ Oh no, I wasn't going down that road. I'd been there, done that, and I knew how it would end. Kanda was the guy who'd punched me for showing him up in a math class. Who knows what he'd do to me if he thought I might like him? (Well, I mean, the Devil might know – I'm pretty sure Kanda's his offspring.)

Luckily my train of thought was interrupted by the ringing bell and the teacher. After that, I was too busy taking notes to think about Kanda.

Lunch was enjoyable. I had been quite pleased to find the week before that Lavi, Lenalee, and I had the same lunch period, so we were able to sit together. Incidentally, Kanda had the same lunch period, too, but I've never seen him in the lunch room.

"Hey, Allen!" Lavi waved at me from the table, grinning, as I walked over. I was carrying 3 platters piled high with all sorts of different food. The lunch system here is pretty cool. There's a down payment every month, and after that, you eat however much you want each day. And the food's fresh, too. You order it from the cook, Jerry. I think he likes me, because I eat a lot.

I sat down, and got to work. Lavi raised an eyebrow.

"Hungry again, Allen?"

"Always," I answered, after swallowing a fish fillet whole.

The amount I eat tends to freak people out, but they get used to it after a while. Honestly, I don't really get why I'm so hungry all the time, either. I mean, I eat as much as an elephant, but I never gain a pound. Still, not gonna question it. I guess I must just have a _really_ strong metabolism.

"Hey, have you seen Yuu-chan today?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Kanda? Yeah, I have AP English with him, as well as everything else. Why?"

"He didn't answer any of my texts over the weekend."

"Does he usually?"

"Well, he tends to send me a message somewhere along the lines of 'Shut up, baka usagi!' but I didn't even get a 'moron' out of him this time."

"Isn't that a good thing? Honestly, I don't know how you can stand him."

"Most people don't," Lavi grinned, "but I've known Yuu for years. And sure, he's a little rough around the edges, but he's a good person at heart."

"Are we really talking about the same person here? The dude who punched me in math class?"

"Surprisingly; yes!" Lavi laughed, "Seriously, though, he's not so bad once you get to know him."

"How can you be so sure?" I pressed, doubtful.

"Because he saved my life once."

"What?!" My mouth fell open in shock; luckily it was empty in that moment.

"Yeah. I dragged him into the city to go clubbing, right? Honestly, though, I'm pretty sure the only reason he came was to escape his doting foster father, Tiedoll. But anyway, we were at a club, and I started hitting on this gorgeous blonde girl, who turned out to be the girlfriend of a very bad-tempered drug dealer. So the guy came up to me, and he and his cronies were gonna beat me up, but then Yuu beat _them_ up! Now sure, you could argue that Yuu just plain likes picking fights, but I think he did that to protect me.

"So even if he is pretty cold, his heart's in the right place," Lavi smiled at me encouragingly, "You should try talking to him again. Just, this time without the pride. That tends to tick him off. Then again, anything can tick him off, so…"

"I get it. But I don't think the two of us are ever going to get along."

"Well, who knows?" He was silent for a moment. "I still think there's something wrong with him, though."

"Hear, hear!"

Lavi rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant. I mean he seems… _off_, somehow. Honestly, it was the fact that he punched you that finally made me notice it, but it's been getting worse for some time now."

"So he hasn't always been this crazy?"

"Believe it or not; no! One time when I was at his house I actually found a picture of him when he was around 8 years old with another boy, and they were _laughing_. He started yelling when I asked him about it, though…"

"Huh. I can't really imagine Kanda with any expression other than a scowl."

"Well, I mean, he does scowl a lot. I bet he'll have forehead lines by the time he's 25."

I laughed at that, "Yeah, probably." We ate silently for a while, and then I spoke up again. "Do you wanna do anything this weekend?"

"Sure!"Lavi's mouth split into the widest grin I'd seen so far. "Are we talking about a party?"

"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of hanging out at the mall or something, but..."

"Oh, no, the mall's cool, too! They have an F.Y.E., a Spencer's, _and_ a Hot Topic, plus a bunch of other stuff."

"Are those your favorite stores?"

"No – that's Half-Priced Books. But they _are_ basically the only places other than Halloween stores where you can get eye patches."

"Right. So… Saturday cool? Maybe around 1?"

"Yeah, sure! I'd say to invite Lenalee, too… but her brother's kinda crazy. Still, we could try it."

"Why not?" I smiled.

After that, we went on to talk about literature and our favorite authors. I found out that Lavi did AP English last year, and he offered to help me out with anything I didn't understand. Really, if this keeps up, I might actually learn to like this place better than England.

* * *

**How was it? I hope you enjoyed. :) **

**Again****, thank you to all of my lovely readers; I'm so happy I have you! :)**


	10. Death and Desperation

**Disclaimer: I still don't own DGM. **

**Warnings: underage smoking, hints at inappropriate behavior, hints at ptsd or anxiety, references to the deaths of others **

**I hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

**Kanda POV**

* * *

I hate this place. Honestly I do.

There's nothing here worth going on, nothing here worth _living_ for. Then again, somehow I doubt there would be a reason anywhere else, either. Ever since Alma died… Ever since then, I've had no will, no desire to live. But I could never allow myself to give up, either. That's for weaklings. _And besides, his sacrifice… I can't just waste it like that…_

I breathed in deeply. _It's only Tuesday. You can't smoke during the school week._ I groaned, hitting the back of my head against the wall. It was my lunch period and I was outside, smoking, in my usual place. Tykki wasn't there, and I was sorely wishing it wasn't a cigarette between my lips, but something else…

I finished smoking the cigarette and crushed it with my boot, then stared introspectively at the burned-out cigarette butt. _Damn it, I wish these things weren't so unhealthy. I'd definitely be a chain smoker then. _As it is, I only have 1 or 2 a week, when I really need a break. That's why I tend to do it in school. _At home, there are other methods of calming myself down, but here… _

I sighed. _I probably ought to apologize to the Moyashi… Wait a minute, why did I think that? __He's__ in the wrong, not me. He goaded me into punching him, and he deserved what he got._ I glanced around, noticing the ever-darkening sky above me. _Looks like it's gonna rain… Just like that night…_

I gasped, clutching my chest and gritting my teeth. _No! Don't think about it! Think about the Moyashi! With his irritating smile and obnoxious care for other people._ I grimaced, realizing again who that annoying little brat reminded me of. _I'll bet that's why I can't stand him – he reminds me too much of Alma…_

Except Alma had never looked like he had something to hide, like he had something weighing down on his very soul. Honestly, though, I highly doubt anyone else notices it. The only reason _I_ can see is that I'm the same way. Sure, the _type_ of mask we use is different, but it's still a mask. _He probably has his own pain…_

_Damn it; who cares! Pain is meant to hide; society teaches us that from the very beginning. He can handle it; and besides, I'd better straighten myself out before I go around playing at being the Good Samaritan. Honestly,_ I chuckled remorsefully, _who could I possibly help, when I can't even manage to save myself?_

Just then I noticed that my phone was vibrating, and with a sigh I picked it up. I'd never admit it out loud, but secretly I was glad of the distraction.

"What?" I growled impatiently into the receiver.

"Yuu-kun, my darling boy! How are you?" The voice on the other end instantly set my nerves on edge.

"I am not your _boy_."

"But of course you are! A pupil is like a son, after all. And I _am_ your adoptive father, even if not your real one. I care for you as a father cares for a son!"

"Yeah, sure. Get to the point. I'm in the middle of my lunch break," I interrupted, knowing the professions of 'fatherly love' would go on until I stopped them.

"Yuu," Tiedoll continued, much more somberly, "I need you to come home this weekend."

"Why? What happened?" I felt worry beginning to worm its way through me. _Tiedoll is __never__ serious._

"Daisya is gone. I just received word. The soldiers who came to inform us left not ten minutes ago."

For a moment I felt the world tilt, as if the ground was opening up below me, or the sky was falling down on top of me. I sank to the ground, unable to remain standing.

"…What…?"

"Yuu…" I could hear the tears in his voice. "The funeral is this Friday. I'll call the school, and tell them to let you go home, and to let you stay away the rest of the week."

I felt a headache begin to build and nausea begin to rise inside of me. _Not good._ The world seemed to be spinning, but I was sure it couldn't be. Or at least, it _shouldn't_ be. But maybe the whole universe was upset at Daisya's death?

"I'll call you later, and I'll buy you plane tickets," Tiedoll promised me, "Yuu… do you want to talk?"

I pulled myself together a bit, pinching the bridge of my nose. "No. And don't call me; just send a text. I… I need some time to myself." I already knew what I needed tonight, regardless of how unhealthy it may be.

"All right, Yuu, but I'll call you in the morning."

"Ok. Bye."

"Good-bye, Yuu-kun."

After the line ended I stood up and leaned back against the wall. _You know what you need…_ Taking a deep breath, I dialed. After 3 rings, they picked up.

"Yo, Kanda. What's up?"

"Where are you?"

"At home; I decided to skip school today."

"Well, I'm going home right now. And Tykki… I need you tonight."

For a moment there was silence on the other end. Then:

"I'll be at your place in 2 hours."

And with that he hung up.

* * *

**So yeah. I think it's pretty clear that I'm finally beginning to move the plot forward, and as such, the story is getting darker and darker. However! I promise that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. The category is hurt/comfort after all. **

**Anyways, I hope you liked it. :) **

**Also, thanks again to everyone who read, followed, favorited, or reviewed the story or me! I love you guys! :)**

**Note: The next chapter might also be Kanda POV, but that would break the pattern that I've had up till now, so... I don't know yet. We'll see. **


	11. The Way He Feels

**Disclaimer: I still don't own DGM. **

**Writer's Note: I am so sorry! This chapter is so late! OTL I got caught up in exams and traveling, and I lost my muse for a while, too. But I'm back, and I intend to stay that way! **

**Warnings: homophobia, self hatred, offensive language, cutting/self harm**

**If any of these topics are triggering to you, please be careful!**

***The chapter title is a reference to the song The Way She Feels, by the band Between the Trees.* **

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Allen POV**

* * *

_It's already Saturday._ I was standing in front of the mirror, putting gel in my hair and combing it back. My fingers danced over the drawers that contained my makeup collection, considering. Quickly I glanced back at my reflection. Tight indigo skinny jeans with chains hanging off of them went well with a black, skin-tight, long-sleeved shirt. I also planned to wear a white leather glove on my left hand, and brown combat boots. With a grin, I reached for the Urban Decay Electric palette, pulling out a pot of Inglot black gel eyeliner while I was at it. It was only after I'd found my foundation and eye shadow base, and was pulling out Sugarpill false lashes that I stopped.

_Dude, could you __be__ any more gay?_

I leaned over the sink and clutched the edge of the counter, looking at my reflection, and suddenly I felt like crying.

_Were you thinking that you looked good? You just look like a fag. A worthless, pathetic freak. Remember your arm? Do you think __anyone__ would still like you if they saw it?_

I drew in a slow, shuddering breath, barely managing to hold back the tears from falling. Opening my eyes, I looked at my face in the mirror. _I look broken; like the first word will make me fall apart._ I clenched my hands into fists, screwing my eyes shut and pulling my eyebrows together, breathing slowly. I opened my eyes again, staring angrily at my reflection. _Stop. Don't do this. Those days are gone; you have a chance to be yourself here, to be who you want to be._

I straightened up and unclenched my fists. Then, with sadness and regret, I put my makeup away again.

* * *

As I made my way towards the mall (I was walking, of course), I pondered the last time I'd seen Kanda, mostly because it was the first thing that had come to mind after my little episode in the bathroom earlier today.

It was on Tuesday. I had been making my way out of the lunch room when, as I rounded the corner, I walked straight into the wannabe samurai.

"Sorry," he muttered, then practically ran away.

I stayed rooted to the spot for at least a full minute. I had just _literally_ run into Kanda, and _he_ had apologized to _me_.

That was the last time I'd seen him all week. It wasn't until I asked Lavi on Friday if he knew why Kanda wasn't at school (technically I asked if he'd finally been expelled), that he told me Kanda had been given the rest of the week off because he needed to go to his brother's funeral a state away.

That had shocked me. Not only because it made me think of Mana, but because it made me realize that however much of an annoying bastard Kanda may be, _he_ was human too. I'll bet that time I ran into him happened right after he got the phone call; that's why he seemed so different from the way he usually is. Despite myself, I'd found myself thinking that I should get him a sympathy gift or something. But then I realized that Kanda would take that as pity, and that would probably just piss him off. Still, maybe I'd try to be nicer to him when he got back – the poor guy deserved it.

I finally arrived at the mall, and made my way to Hot Topic, using the directions Lavi had given me. We had agreed to meet in the dark recesses of the store. Slowly I made my way through the aisles. At the makeup stand I glanced around quickly before hurriedly looking through it, feeling inexplicably guilty, somehow. The Edward Scissorhands makeup bag looked _adorable_, and I was just _dying_ to try the L.A. Cosmetics eye shadow. True, the price was suspiciously low, but every once in a while you can find really cheap stuff that works _amazingly_. Also, _yay_ for purple hair dye and _hell yes_ for eyeliner.

"Hey, Allen! Whatcha lookin'at?"

I whirled around, barely managing to look nonchalant, even though I felt panic rising inside of me at the sight of Lavi. Thank goodness all those years of playing poker have helped me learn to control my facial expressions.

"Oh, nothing, really. Just kinda looking. I'll never understand how girls use all this stuff. I mean, what's the point anyway?"

"The point is to look even more amazing than we already do," Lenalee answered with a grin, "though, I admit that not even all of us girls know how to use all of this stuff. I use nail polish and eyeliner, but that's about it. I have absolutely no idea how people put together those amazing eye shadow looks."

_I do_, I wanted to say, but I'd already missed my chance when I'd dissed makeup earlier.

"Well, I don't know about makeup, but I know I want to check out those belts over there," Lavi grinned.

After that, we spent the rest of the afternoon wandering through various stores, trying on and trying out all sorts of different stuff. We had lunch, too, in the food court. Lenalee and I had Chinese, while Lavi stuck with Subway. Towards the end of the day, Lenalee dragged us into a Sephora. I did my best to seem uninterested, while in reality, I was eagerly checking out the price of the Urban Decay Ammo Palette. At $34, it really wasn't that bad. I decided I'd come back after Lavi and Lenalee left, and buy it then.

After Sephora, we sat down for coffee at Starbucks. While Lavi and Lenalee discussed the annoyance of the "plus tax" thing (which I completely agree with), I let my eyes wander around. Suddenly I gasped.

"Allen, what is it?" Lenalee asked, looking over, then following my happy gaze. "A piano store?"

"Oh, that's right, you can play the piano, can't you, Allen?" Lavi asked.

I ducked my head, embarrassed. "Well, yeah. Sort of."

"Really? That's awesome!" Lenalee smiled, "The only thing I play is soccer. I've always been a bit jealous of people who could play instruments."

I glanced at her hesitantly, "Well, I mean, I play more than just the piano. I could give you some lessons, if you'd like."

"That would be amazing, Allen!" She seemed genuinely happy about my offer, and it made me feel good. "Lavi, why don't you try something, too?"

"Thanks, but no thanks. Metal smithing is the only sport I need."

"Woah, you can work metal? That's incredible!" I gazed at him admiringly.

"Thanks! I've been doing it since, like, forever."

After that, we chatted for a bit longer before Lenalee stood up with a sigh and informed us that if she didn't leave soon, her brother would probably go crazy. Lavi offered to walk her out, and I said my goodbyes to them, saying that I still wanted to check out the piano store. I waited until they were out of sight, then dashed off in the direction of Sephora.

I ended up buying a $22 brush set as well, which put me over $50. The lady at the counter asked me with a smile if I wanted a complementary 45 minute make-over. She informed me that I could have it now, or reserve a time later. I deliberated for a second, then decided that I wasn't going anywhere tonight anyway, so why not?

The guy who was the makeup artist on duty asked me if there was anything in particular that I was interested in trying. I told him to make it flashy, but other than that, I didn't mind. By the time he was finished, I looked like a drag queen, and I loved it. I knew I just _had_ to reproduce this look at some point in the future, so I asked him for a full list of products used. He acquiesced with a grin and laughed, telling me that he wished all of his subjects had skin as perfect as mine. I joined in, chuckling, pleased at the compliment.

Afterwards, I went back to Hot Topic and bought the purple hair dye I'd been looking at earlier. The cashier told me I looked amazing, even better than earlier. I felt a small glow of pride to know that this complete stranger accepted me, even thought I looked better as myself, rather than someone else.

But I should have known it wouldn't last.

Like I said, I looked like a drag queen. Now, I personally love looking that way, decked out in powerful eyeshades and striking lipsticks, but in my pleasure at looking the way I wanted to again, I'd forgotten that the world in general isn't so fond of such things.

As I was walking home, I passed a guy who looked at me in disgust.

"Faggot."

I stopped walking, feeling for a moment like I couldn't breathe, like I'd just been punched in the gut. Then, with a shudder, I began to sprint for home. As my feet pounded the pavement, tears leaked from the corners of my eyes, and I thanked everything in the world that it was dark already, and that I didn't meet anyone else. Gasping for air, I tripped twice, but I just pushed myself back up and kept running until I reached my front door. With shaking hands, I pulled out my keys and turned the lock. I was in such a hurry, and in such a state, that I almost forgot to lock the door behind me. Clutching the stitch in my side, I darted up the stairs and slammed my door behind me, leaving my newly bought makeup thrown haphazardly onto the couch.

My breath came in short, labored gasps, both from the exhaustion of the sprint home and from the tears that I could no longer even attempt to hold in. Growling in frustration, I tore my glove off, and pulled my shirt over my head the moment after, tossing it into a corner.

Panicked, I ran to my sock drawer and reached deep inside, searching for the little golden box I kept hidden away in the back. Pulling it out, I sank to the ground and opened it, the need overpowering me as light from my ceiling light reflected off of the glinting pieces of metal in the container.

Then, with a sigh of relief from the deepest parts of my soul, I pulled one of the blades across my already scarred left arm, and watched the blood drip to the floor.

* * *

**Well, that was quite an eventful chapter, I believe. Tell me what you think? :) **

**Also, I'd like to send out another great big "Thank you!" to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, or reviewed this story! I love you all! :) **

**Additionally, my offer to write chapter summaries at the end of chapters still stands. If any of you would like me to do this, just ask. :)**


	12. Family and Friends

**Disclaimer: DGM is not mine. **

**Warnings: funeral scene, hints at ptsd or anxiety, hints at underage drug use**

**I hope you enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Kanda POV**

* * *

I knew it was gonna be bad, but not this bad.

The funeral was open casket. All I could think was that Daisya looked like he was still alive, like he could wake up at any moment. And he had to, he just _had_ to. It wasn't until they prepared to lower the casket into the ground that I finally managed to regain my senses.

"No! Stop that!" I yelled, pushing away one of the workers. "You can't take him! He can still wake up!"

I felt strong arms grip me. "Kanda, please calm down. Daisya is _gone_."

"No, Marie, you're wrong!" Even I could tell that I was acting hysterical, but I just couldn't stop. Tears were flowing from my eyes. "Daisya! Wake up!"

But Marie had turned me around so that my face was in his shoulder, and he held me strong as I continued to cry. _I hadn't even thought I still had tears left to shed._ The two of us stood there for long after the funeral ended, silent in each other's arms. Tiedoll stood with us as well. Our family hadn't been big to begin with, and we had all lived in different places all over the globe, but we _had_ been close.

As my sobs slowly ceased, I remembered Daisya. Daisya, who had played soccer all his life, who had even wanted to be a professional soccer player, until he decided in 10th grade to go into the military, instead. But whenever he came home, we'd always get together and play his favorite sport. Well, he and the others would. I always sat grumpily under the trees. But Daisya understood. He would smile at me, covered in sweat, and run his hands through my hair, much to my irritation. He would laugh, and I would glare, but then smile when he turned away. That was the nature of our relationship. He may have been a pain at times, but he had been family, and I had loved him. We all had.

After the funeral was over, we had dinner together as a family, but we didn't speak much. All of us felt the absence of the liveliest member of our group too strongly.

I took a plane home on Saturday afternoon, and called Tykki again the moment I got out of the airport. He promised to meet me at my place at 6.

* * *

"Hey, Kanda."

"Hey Tykki."

He looked at me with concern in his eyes. A smaller shape darted out from behind him and hugged me.

"We're both sorry, Kanda," the little purple-haired, dark-skinned girl around my waist told me with sad eyes. She'd moved so fast she'd even dropped her cherished pink umbrella with the pumpkin on top.

"Thanks, Road," I murmured, hugging her back.

"Sorry, man, I know you wanted it to be just me, but I'm kind of watching her today," Tykki shrugged apologetically.

"It's fine," I shrugged back, "come on in, you two." I knew he probably hadn't had much of a choice in the matter. Road Kamelot was Tykki's relative in some way, though I couldn't quite remember how. From what I could tell, the relation was pretty distant, but their family kept close. Tykki often had to babysit her even though she was only a year younger than us, because her father was a complete nut with a daughter complex and seemed to think she was unable of even taking care of herself alone. Personally though, I think she's one of the most mature girls I've ever met, despite the fact that she looks (and often acts) like she could be in Middle School.

Road and Tykki followed me into the kitchen, where Road set about fixing tea, and raiding my candy stash while she was at it.

"Geez, Kanda, do you even eat this stuff? I swear this is exactly the amount I left in here last time, and that was almost 3 weeks ago."

"Che. Of course I don't eat it, you noisy brat; it's there for you." I tried to look and sound annoyed, but the content of my words obviously game me away. Road giggled as she hugged me around the shoulders, then sat down to a giant lollypop.

"You're so cute when you pretend to be irritated," Tykki chuckled.

I glared at him for a moment before just leaning back into my chair and looking away.

"You know," I began, "this is the kind of relationship I had with Daisya as well."

"Oh?" Tykki pulled out a cigarette and lit it, turning away. I could tell he didn't know how to talk to me about this.

"Yeah… And come to think of it, this is how I am with anyone I consider 'friend'. I never seem to be able to say the right words… until it's far too late to say them at all."

Tykki glanced back at me, then turned away again, offering me a cigarette, which I took gratefully.

"Geez, you two, at least open a window or something," Road complained, striding over to the kitchen window and throwing it open, apparently having decided that Tykki and I probably weren't liable to do it ourselves. Turning back to us she continued with a sigh, "You do realize your lungs are gonna turn black, right?"

"And your teeth are gonna rot from all those lollypops," Tykki shot back.

But I looked away, feeling a shot of guilt strike me. _This body is not only mine; I have to live for him, too. I have no right to harm it in anyway. Alma…_ I pulled the cigarette out of my mouth and balanced it on the ashtray, rubbing my forehead. My eyes were shut tight, and I breathed deeply.

I felt a small hand touch my shoulder, and I flinched back, slapping it away. I'm certain my panic showed on my face, and Road's eyes widened a bit.

"Kanda, are you ok? Should I bring you more tea?" She gazed at me earnestly from honey-colored eyes.

"No. I'm fine," I responded, turning away, then reiterated, "I'm fine."

"Alma again, eh?" Tykki was gazing at me out of the corner of his eye, still smoking.

I whirled around to glare at him. "Shut up!"

"Take it easy, dude. I've got your cure," he sighed, pulling a little bag filled with green leaves out of his jacket. "The crop was finally ready. Sooo…" He stared at me fixedly, raising an eyebrow, "you ready to relax and forget all your worries?"

I could only give in and nod.

* * *

**So, was it good? Did you enjoy it? I hope so. :) **

**Thank you again to everyone who has supported me throughout this story by reading, following, favoriting, or reviewing. :) **

**Note: I'm already working on the next chapter, so it should be up by tomorrow at the latest. :) **


	13. Relationships

**Disclaimer: -Man is still Katsura Hoshino's, and not mine. If it were mine, the art would be a lot worse and the plot a lot more gay. **

**Disclaimer II: The song is called Demons by Imagine Dragons. I own no part of it whatsoever. Check it out, though, if you haven't heard it before; it's really cool. :) **

**Author's Note: I am sooo sorry. OTL I know I promised this chapter for days ago, but my muse kind of left me for a while, and I didn't really know how to finish the chapter. Forgive me? **

**Warnings: references to the deaths of family members (past), references to and (inner) discussion of self harm/cutting and depression**

**Note: I have decided that this story is going to take place in a state where marijuana is legal. However, since I believe that the current trend will continue and more states will legalize it, I leave the specifics up to the reader's imagination. If you so wish, you may take an X-Men approach to it and say it takes place in state x "sometime in the not so distant future". **

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Allen POV**

* * *

Monday morning found me wondering whether I could possibly pass off bandages on my arms as a fashion statement. I eventually decided on _probably not_, and went with a looser top under which the wrappings would be less apparent. _Besides_, I thought morosely, _using something as a fashion statement, despite the fact that I'm a guy? That's like painting a bull's-eye on my back. If anything could make them think I'm gay, that would. Honestly, as if my clothes and hair aren't sufficient to do that in and of themselves._

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Cutting myself up on Saturday had helped, but it hadn't been nearly enough. I was at least calmer, though. Seeing my own face and body no longer set me instantly on the verge of tears. Still, in a week at most, I'd be back to where I was before. My eyebrows drew closer together. _Recently… it seems as if the cuts aren't tiding me over as long any more, even though they get deeper every time._ I clenched my fists. _I'm falling faster… sinking into the darkness of my own soul…_

With a sigh, I straightened up and finished getting myself ready. Soon I was on my way to school. I made it into my AP English classroom with 20 minutes to spare, so I pulled out my phone and plugged in my ear buds.

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get too close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

I closed my eyes and began to let my fingers run through the motions; I'd played this song on the piano more times than I care count. I stopped the moment I heard the door opening, though, and looked up to see who'd entered.

Much to my surprise, I found the intruder to be Kanda. Remembering my earlier musing, I decided to try being nice. "Hey," I mumbled with a wave of my hand.

For a moment he seemed angry, but then he relented, and gave me a short nod of greeting before turning away and sitting down.

I felt inexplicably _pleased_, somehow. Sure, a bob of the head wasn't exactly much, but coming from Kanda, it felt like an affirmation, or sorts. I'd just been acknowledged by the Ice Prince, and even if he still didn't _like_ me at all, at least he no longer seemed like he wanted to kill me. Maybe, just _maybe_, Lavi had been right about him? Maybe… we could even become friends?

I snuck a quick peek at the moody samurai from the corner of my eye. He was looking at a paper with the sort of intensity a would-be psychic might use to try and set it on fire. And he looked totally pissed off. I suddenly felt a swell of pity for the poor little piece of paper; what had _it_ ever done to Kanda? Then I realized that was ridiculous and pulled my attention back to my own stuff. I took the ear buds out and put my phone away, deciding I didn't really want to play the invisible piano with Kanda there.

* * *

I had lunch with Lavi and Lenalee, as per usual. I was actually just starting on a BLT sandwich when Lavi said something interesting.

"Hey, hey! So you'll never guess what happened this morning! Kanda actually _talked_ to me!"

"What about?" Lenalee stared at Lavi in shock.

"I don't know – random stuff. The point is that he actually responded with more than just a 'che' or a 'leave me alone, baka usagi'.

"He calls you a 'stupid rabbit'?" I raised an expressive eyebrow and pulled a confused face.

"Yeah; no idea why, though. But hey, wait – do you speak Japanese, Allen?" Lavi seemed as animated by this discovery as by Kanda's unusual actions this morning.

"Uhhh… well, Cross and I spent some time in Asia, especially India and Japan."

"Awesome!" Lenalee smiled at me, "You didn't spend any time in China, did you?"

"A little, but not nearly enough to truly experience it," I shrugged ruefully.

"Oh. Too bad."

"But, speaking of Kanda… I agree that he seems to be acting a bit unusually," I remarked nonchalantly. "Honestly, he actually _greeted_ me this morning."

"Seriously?!" Both Lavi and Lenalee stared at me in shock.

"Just last week the two of you were still at each other's throats!" Lavi nearly shouted.

"What exactly happened?" Lenalee questioned me, leaning forward eagerly.

"Nothing much," I shrugged, "I just said 'hey' to him when he came into the classroom this morning, and he nodded at me. Call me crazy, but I swear it was a greeting," I insisted.

"Even from a normal person that can count as a 'hello', so coming from Kanda…" Lavi grinned, "Seems he likes you after all."

"Yeah, right," I retorted, then mused, "But maybe he doesn't outright hate me anymore. Even _that_ would be a huge improvement." I looked back up at Lavi. "But I wonder what's gotten into him, that he's being so nice – by Kanda standards, I mean."

Lenalee sighed and shook her head. "Are you two really that thick? His brother just died! Even Kanda has emotions, regardless of how good a job he does at hiding them. I bet he's been effected by the ordeal."

"You're probably right, Lenalee," Lavi affirmed, "I don't know much, but I am aware that Kanda was pretty close with both of his brothers."

"Does he live alone? I mean, going through a loss like that… he shouldn't be going home to an empty house." I felt sadness well up inside me as I said the words. _Mana_…

"Yeah, he lives alone. But he'd never let go of enough of his pride to tell someone that he was lonely, or accept somebody else's help, much less ask for it," Lenalee sighed sorrowfully.

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "I'm not so sure. He gets along pretty well with Tykki Mikk. _He_ might be able to help Kanda somehow."

Lenalee looked utterly horrified. "Kanda hangs out with _Tykki Mikk_?"

"Yes…" Lavi seemed utterly bewildered by her reaction.

"Lavi, for such a smart guy with such a great memory, you can be pretty slow sometimes. Tykki is a _drug dealer_." Lenalee emphasized.

"What?"Lavi scoffed. "There's no way that's true. Tykki's family is made entirely of cops. Literally every member goes into law enforcement, as regular police officers, crime scene investigators, lawyers, FBI, or other similar occupations. Well, except for a few that became doctors instead. And they have a _very_ good reputation for being perfectly straight people – most of them haven't even ever had a speeding ticket. In fact, they're so well-respected that they've earned the nickname of the 'Noah Clan', after the righteous man that the Christian god chose to save from the biblical flood. I highly doubt Tykki would be able to get away with dealing drugs in a family like that."

Lenalee seemed both shocked and embarrassed. "I didn't know that. I guess I've been listening to too many rumors."

"But then, that's actually pretty good, isn't it?" I asked, causing them both to look at me. "If this Tykki is from such a respectable background, he's probably pretty dependable. That sounds like exactly the type of friend Kanda needs right now."

Both Lavi and Lenalee nodded. Then, with a grin, Lavi launched into an anecdote about how he found Bak Chan getting beaten up by a blushing Fo earlier. I laughed along, well aware that he was trying to lighten the mood. But deep inside, I was still dwelling on Kanda, and wondering why I couldn't seem to get the darn guy out of my head.

* * *

**So? How was it? I hope you enjoyed! :) **

**I'd just like to take a moment to once again thank all of the people who have read, followed, favorited, and reviewed my story. Your support means so much to me! :) **

**Love you lots, **

**-Red**


	14. New Determination

**Disclaimer: DGM? Yeah, still not mine. **

**Author's Note: I am so sorry. OTL I'm late again! But I think I actually know what I want to do in the next couple of chapters now, so it should go a little faster. Hopefully. **

**Warnings: Kanda has a mouth?, references to loss [in other words, not much]**

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Kanda POV**

* * *

_ What the bloody Hell was I __thinking__? Actually being __polite__ to the Moyashi? And nice to the baka usagi? Jeez, I must be losing it!_ I stormed through the halls on the way to my locker. Thankfully, the day was finally over. Also, the whole "suckerpunch incident" still hadn't been completely forgotten, so I made pretty good time. _Actually, I wonder why the Moyashi seems to have forgotten earlier than anyone else? I mean, he __is__ the one I punched,_ I smirked. Then I realized, _that's probably exactly why. He's one of only a few people that really knows what happened. Most everyone else has only heard ridiculously inflated rumors._

It didn't take me long to pack my bag and get ready to leave. But just as I was heading out the door, a familiar (and annoying) redhead caught up with me.

"Hey, Yuu," it screamed with an enormous stupid grin plastered on its face, "What's up?"

"Don't call me that, baka usagi, because I swear I will slice you in two."

"Ha ha ha…" Lavi laughed nervously, "Please don't. Anyway, I was wondering, can I come over on Friday?"

"No. Why?"

The teen shrugged slightly. "Nothing much. The panda geezer's gonna be away, and I want to hang out with someone."

"And why does the role of 'someone' have to fall on me?"

"Because we haven't hung out in forever!"

"Exactly. I have no intention of breaking my record now."

"But Yuu! It'll just be for a couple of hours! I promise I won't be a bother."

"Che. That's impossible," I growled, "You're _already_ bothering me."

"Please! Come on!" He turned to me with an imploring puppy dog eye.

"Che." I turned away. We'd reached my house, and I began to move away from him. "I'll see ya," I threw back at him over my shoulder. _Let him take that however he wants._

After I got inside, I went through my typical routine. Or at least, I started to, until I was rudely interrupted by a letter in the mail. _What the Hell?_

I sat down at the kitchen table to open it, and found it to be an invitation to the state kendo tournament in two months. _The end of November, huh? No sweat. Honestly, these things are boring. No one can win against me._

I got up and began to make jasmine tea. It was only when I sat down again that I realized; with all the commotion of the past few weeks, I hadn't trained in 10 days. I slumped back in my chair, shocked. Then, I got angry. _This thing I'm doing with Tykki… It was never meant to go this far. None of it was supposed to affect me. I was going to remain a perfect student and a perfect swordsman; make sure no one ever noticed what was going on. But now I'm skipping practice, and acting nice to people I hate. This ends __now__._

I nearly broke the teacup, I brought it down on the table so hard. _From now on, I'm going back to the way I was before. I'm going to train 4 hours every day, and study for my classes. I can't let that Moyashi beat me. And I can't allow anyone to realize what's happening._ With that decided I stood up and began to make my way to my room. I would change into my training uniform and then start with laps. Once I determine to do something, not even a hurricane can change my mind.

* * *

I'll be honest – it felt good. It felt _really_ good. I trained until 7 (about 3.5 hours), and then meditated for an hour. Afterwards, I made myself soba, and studied and did my homework after I ate. It was around 11 by the time I finally got to bed. But I felt better than I had in months. Somehow, doing the things that I had always done had almost managed to reawaken the old me.

I'm not really much of the 'lie in bed and contemplate your life' type, but tonight, I found myself doing it anyway. _That talk I had with Tykki last weekend seems to have unhinged me a bit. Honestly, if there's one way they'll know for sure something's up, it'll be that I start being nicer to people. I can't change anymore. And besides, I don't want to. _

_If I open myself up, and let people in, that'll just be setting myself up for disaster. They'll leave me, just like Daisya. Just like __Alma__. Alma… Alma the kind, Alma the perfect, Alma the one who stuck with me even though I was a jerk to him to begin with. Alma was my world. _

_And that's why I can never allow it to happen again. My world fell apart and I rebuilt it, painfully, with steel and malice. But if it were to fall apart a second time, I know I wouldn't be able to rebuild it. I would crumble to ashes along with my walls._

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed! :) If you have any thoughts, please drop a review. :) **

**And I'd like to say "Thank You" once again to all the lovely people who have read, followed, favorited, and/or reviewed my work. I'm really grateful. :) **

**See you next time! **

**-Red**


	15. The Devils are Inside the Walls

**Disclaimer: I confess, I still don't own DGM. **

**Author's Note: I'm late again! OTL I am so sorry! **

**WARNINGS! [IMPORTANT!]: TW: EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL CHILD ABUSE; ptsd; complex related to lgbt issues**

**This chapter is really dark, so please be careful! **

**I do hope you enjoy, though. :')**

* * *

**Allen POV**

* * *

So I think I may have just imagined Kanda's greeting after all. Because the next morning, I smiled and said "Hey!" and that _ass_ responded with "What do you want, baka moyashi?" And the same pattern continued for the rest of the week. Lavi said that he had kinda sorta obtained an invitation to Kanda's house for Friday, but with the way 'Yuu-chan' had acted every day after Monday… Well, let's just say he wasn't too sure it was still standing. I wonder what happened…?

At any rate, with the full-fledged return of the Ice Prince, the girls seemed to go into some kind of frenzy. They would whisper in huddled groups as he passed by in the hallways. And even the guys seemed jealous. I wonder what they like about him? Honestly, what's so good about that wannabe samurai? Just cause he has a six-pack and wears skin-tight shirts…

It was Friday, and I hurriedly made my way home from school. I'd managed to get a part-time job at the Hot Topic in the mall I'd visited with Lavi and Lenalee. (Where the Hell else would they actually hire me, looking like this?)I really enjoyed it though. Not only did I get a discount, but people didn't look at me weird. In a place like that, where everyone's a bit unusual, the hair and tattoo goes pretty much unnoticed. Plus, I do enjoy helping people. I mean sure, it's tiring to stand on your feet all day, but in some ways, retail can be pretty fun.

I made it in on time and then worked my shift. It passed pretty much uneventfully. Although, I did get to chat with one of my coworkers, the one who'd complemented me on that tragic Saturday. She'd made me feel good about myself then, and I found out she was pretty good about doing that in general. She was a really cute little gothic Lolita with spiky purple hair, whose name turned out to be Road Kamelot. We talked for quite a while about a whole range of topics, and eventually even steered towards that one particularly horrifying topic.

"So…" she began after double-checking that the store was empty, "that make-up you had on the other day… Did you do it?"

"No," I shrugged, trying to make it appear nonchalant. But inside I felt as if some monster was twisting my guts into knots.

"Oh. Damn," she sighed, leaning onto the checkout counter in obvious disappointment. "I was _really_ hoping it was you. See, I have virtually no talent for stuff like that. I mean, sure, I can do the basics; eyeliner, smoky eyes, ect. But that's about it. It would have been cool to have a friend that could concoct a look like that for me."

I clenched my fists for a moment as I waged an inner war. _Should I tell her?_ I glanced over at her again. So far I'd found no reason to distrust the laid-back little girl. Feeling in a corner of my mind that I was making a _huge_ mistake, I blurted out,

"Well… I mean, it was a different make-up artist that did that particular look for me… but I can do stuff like that too…" I trailed off and turned away, squeezing my eyes shut and gripping my left arm tightly with my right. _Oh no… what have I __done__?!_

"Wait, seriously?!" I opened my eyes to find Road grinning and practically bouncing in excitement in front of me. "Could you do my make-up for me sometime?" She looked at me with eyes filled with eager anticipation.

Feeling a deep sense of relief begin to displace the fear, I nodded with a small smile. "Sure; why not?"

"Yes!" She squealed. "Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Here, let's exchange phone numbers!"

It honestly didn't take long for me to get swept up in her pace. But I didn't really mind.

* * *

All in all, it was a good day. So I was humming a tune under my breath as I entered the house around 8 pm.

Then I notice the red trench coat on the coach.

I felt as if the very air had been knocked out of me. I had to physically lean against the wall for a full minute to regain some semblance of control over my body. Pushing my sleeve up to my elbow, I thrust the fingers of my right hand into my left arm, and slowly dragged my nails over the thick scabs, feeling the pain wash over me as the wounds broke open. I pulled my sleeve down again and took a deep breath, calm washing over me along with the ache. My fingers still shook a little though, as I untied my shoes and softly set by bag down in a hidden corner behind a bookshelf.

Slowly I made my way through the house, which no longer seemed like _home_ to my eyes. I didn't dare speak, lest I arouse the anger of the beast that had entered my sanctuary. As I entered the kitchen I felt my breath catch again, and I gulped.

"Master," I murmured, inclining my head in a terrified half-bow.

"Stupid apprentice! Where the hell have you been? I'm hungry! And where is the liquor?"

"There is no liquor," I stated after a steadying breath, "as I am under 21, and therefore unable to buy it. What would you like me to cook?"

"Cook?! At this time of night? I'm hungry _now_! If you don't have any food prepared, then forget it. That's not why I came back, anyways," the man stated, standing up from the chair he'd been reclining in.

"Then what did you come for, Master Cross?" I asked, beginning to back away.

"For money, idiot apprentice. You do have money, don't you?" There was a dangerous gleam in his eyes, and I gulped again.

"Yes; yes, of course," I nodded, reaching for the cabinet. I opened the cupboard door and pulled out the tea pot in the back. Reaching into it, I grabbed a roll of bank notes and drew them out, offering them to the red-haired monster that stood before me.

Cross took the money and began counting. "$1200?! All you have to offer is a measly $1200?"

I paled in fear. "I… I'm sorry…"

"Idiot apprentice!" I made no move to block the punch that landed on my chin and knocked me to the ground. Instead, I curled into a ball as the towering demon continued to kick me with his thick-soled boots, screaming profanities.

Finally, _finally_, he stopped, informing me that he'd be back in two weeks and there had better be more waiting for him then. I stayed where I was, vaguely hearing the front door slam somewhere far away.

_Uh oh…_ I thought, realizing that not only did my limbs feel like lead, but my eyesight was beginning to blur as well.

Through the hazy fog of my consciousness, I heard a voice begin to sing a beautiful melody, full of sadness.

"Maria…" I managed to whisper, before the darkness claimed me.

* * *

**Yeah... I made Cross Marian into one Hell of an asshole. However, in my defense, I'm pretty sure that this is the canon interpretation of the character. The series often uses humor and ridiculousness to hide the seriousness of it, but Cross genuinely mistreated Allen as a child. He _hit him with a hammer with the intention of knocking him out_. He also consistently forced Allen to pay his debts, ect. **

**Anyway, though, I hope you enjoyed, as much as it's possible to enjoy a chapter like this. **

**Thank you to all of you who have read, followed, favorited, and reviewed my story. I really value your support. :)**

**Stay Awesome, **

**-Red**


	16. Friends Like Family

**Disclaimer: DGM is still not mine. **

**IMPORTANT QUESTION: Does it bother anyone if I change the pairing from Laveena (Lavi x Lenalee) to Lucky (Lavi x Tykki)? See, it's important to the plot which way it goes, so is it all right if I go in the Lucky direction? **

**Warnings: Kanda has a mouth [so virtually nothing] **

***Also! If anyone found the title of the last chapter, "The Devils are Inside the Walls" familiar, it's probably because it's a quote from Harry Potter. In the Goblet of Fire, when Sirius talks to Harry using floo powder, he says "I'm saying the devils are _inside_ the walls! Igor Karkaroff? He was a Death Eater!" If anyone got that, congratulations! :) **

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Kanda POV**

* * *

"Hey, Yuu!"

I took one glance at the bubbly redhead, and immediately slammed the door.

Except, of course, he just had to catch it before it closed completely.

"Aww… Yuu-chan… That's mean!" Lavi looked at me with what I can only assume was intended to be a puppy dog eye.

"Don't. Call. Me. THAT." I hissed back at him, sliding Mugen's blade through the door.

He began to back up, laughing nervously. "Sorry… Sorry… really!"

I continued to glare. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"It's Friday."

"It's also the end of September. So?"

"You invited me over on Monday!"

"I did no such thing."

"Yuu… come on… let me in? Please?" Another 'puppy dog' look.

I sighed. "Che. _Fine_." Leaving the door open for him, I made my way inside the house, towards the kitchen. As much as I may hate to admit it, Lavi's been here enough that he knows his way around the house. I could hear him scramble around to take off his shoes and jacket, then do his best to catch up to me.

Without saying anything, I made Jasmine tea, then poured two cups of it, sliding one of them unceremoniously towards the intrusion. He nodded his thanks with a smile and I turned away with a "Che".

"Kanda… Are you ok? You seem a bit… off-kilter."

"I'm fine. What business is it of yours, anyway?"

"I'm your friend. And so are Lenalee and Allen. So stop trying to push us away."

"Why the Hell would I care about that moyashi?"

"You can't fool me. He bugs you too much; there's gotta be a reason. So…?"

"Che. None of your business." I turned away angrily. _Alma_…

Lavi sighed. "Fine. So… what do you wanna do?"

_"You're_ the one who invited himself over. _You_ decide." I did my best to hide the polite meaning behind the rude words. Not sure how well it worked, though. As much as I hate to admit it, Lavi's pretty smart.

"Then… you wanna spar? It's been ages since we trained together," Lavi suggested.

I grinned. "No problem."

* * *

All right, I'll admit it – sparring with Lavi was a lot of fun. He has a fighting style that's completely different from any other I've ever encountered (probably learned it from his grandfather, that Old Panda), so training with him really helps me branch out from the typical kendo forms. We ended up spending about 3 hours in the training room. Afterwards we both took showers (this house has 3 full bathrooms).

I finished showering first (_HOW_ – I'm the one with long hair, not him), and decided that this was still my house, and I could be as casual as I wanted, so I threw on a pair of sweatpants over my boxers and let my hair fall over my back and chest. I prefer letting it air-dry, and that means any shirt I put on will only get wet. I then made my way down to the kitchen.

"Well, well… Don't you look delectable."

I whipped around to find myself face-to-face with Tykki. I cocked my head to one side and furrowed my eyebrows. "How did you get in here?"

Shrugging, Tyki responded with, "You're front door was unlocked." He shot me a smirk. "And even if it hadn't been, I would have picked the lock."

I sighed. "Fine, whatever. I _do_ have a guest, though, just so you know." I knew that that sentence was enough to warn him to stay away from the topic of drugs.

"That's rare. Is your guest the reason you're only half-dressed?"

I set the kettle on the stove to let the water boil. "Yes and _no_, Tykki. Lavi and I just spent 3 hours sparring. A shower is definitely required after that much exercise."

Right on cue, Lavi stepped into the kitchen, eye widening when he noticed Tykki. He was dressed just like me, shirtless. _Tykki is never gonna let me hear the end of this_.

"Yuu? There's a strange man in your house."

"He's not… Well, I guess he is pretty strange. Lavi, meet Tykki Mikk. Tykki, meet Lavi Bookman." I threw their introductions over my shoulder, as the water had finally come to a boil, so I had to set about the preparations for the tea.

"Why didn't you tell me you had company planned for tonight, Yuu-chan?" Lavi asked, after shaking hands with Tykki. I noticed he brushed his hair fiercely over his right eye. _He must not have his eye patch on._

"Because I didn't. Tykki just invited himself in – much like you. Except _he_ didn't even have the common decency to ask permission before entering my house. And baka usagi?"

"Yes?"

_"Don't_ call me that." I glared at him, twirling a carving knife around my fingers.

"Ha… ha… You wouldn't, would you?"

"Killing you would get me in serious trouble. But a slice or two…"

Lavi hid behind Tykki, looking absolutely terrified. Tykki merely chuckled.

"Come on, lay off the poor kid. He may be an idiot, but he's a good boy."

"What makes you think that?" I grumbled.

"He's friends with you, isn't he?"

I didn't turn around to face them, because I could feel a slight blush settle across my features. I quickly calmed myself, though, and brought the tea over to the table, serving it.

"Ooohhhh… Smells like mango!" Lavi grinned.

"It's mango-peach, baka usagi."

After that we sat in relative silence, preoccupied with the tea. After drinking a cup, I stood up. "Are you two eating here or not?" I did my best to sound irritated. They both nodded and thanked me, and I turned to the refrigerator, beginning to pull out ingredients. While I made miso soup, I listened to them chatting with each other. _They seem to be getting along quite well_. I hid a smile at the fact that my two friends were getting along. _Maybe this isn't so bad… Almost like a family…_

* * *

**So... Did you enjoy? :) It was a nice change of pace to write something a little more light-hearted for once. **

**RE: IMPORTANT QUESTION: So, is it ok for me to include Lucky? If anyone is SERIOUSLY opposed, please tell me. **

**Thank you to everyone who has read, followed, favorited, and reviewed. I am so grateful! :) **

**Love, **

**-Red**


	17. Pietá

**Disclaimer: (Do I even still need to do this?) DGM is NOT mine. Also, the song lyrics used are not mine, either. **

**Author's Note: My question about Lucky still stands. Unless a large number of people oppose it, I think I'm gonna go ahead and replace Lavi x Lenalee with Lavi x Tykky as the secondary pairing. **

**Warnings: evidence of abuse**

**Enjoy! **

* * *

**Allen POV**

* * *

The first thing I noticed was the cold. Then came the pain.

"Aaahhhh…!" I half-cried, half-gasped, as I slowly sat myself up, leaning against the wall. My whole body ached, and I noticed that there was blood splattered on the ground around me. My thoughts were still a jumbled mess, but I knew one thing – I needed to get to the piano.

With great effort, and many stops on the way, as my numb body occasionally just decided to give out, I gradually made my way towards the grand piano in the living room. I thanked all the stars that it was unharmed. I'd feared that in his fit of rage, Cross might do something to it. But it was fine. There was even a pencil and blank music sheets lying on top of it. I sighed in relief when I finally managed to sit down on the chair in front of it, leaning back for a moment to rest.

Then I opened my eyes, and began to play. I could still hear the music in my head, I just needed to get it onto the paper. As I continued to figure out the words and notes, I realized; it was a hymn! I continued what I was doing for another 5 hours, when I sat back, content. I tried to stretch out my back and arms (they were cramped from being in such a confined position for so long), but immediately stopped as pain shot through me. _I think I'll call it __The Grave's Maria: Magdala's Curtain__._

I played the piece through a few more times, just to make sure I'd gotten it right, imagining a full choir and orchestra playing around me. I'm sure it would sound magnificent that way. Eventually I managed to make myself stand, and begin the trek towards my room. Once there, I almost collapsed again. Climbing up those stairs had been excruciating.

I went over to my desk and pulled out a manila folder with _The Grave's Maria_ written across it in curling, cursive, feminine script (my handwriting, unfortunately). It was full to nearly bursting. I put my new piece in it, taking the opportunity to look through some of the older ones. _Carte Garte, 14__th__ Melody, Lala's Lullaby, Twins' Song..._ Each and every one was a work written by Maria. _Maria_ is a spirit. At least, that's what I assume. Every time Cross beats me unconscious, I hear her singing in the distance just before I pass out. The music I get from _her_ is my very best. I guess it's true what they say – pain really is the greatest muse. Though honestly, I don't like taking credit for these; I feel like I'm not the one that wrote them – I'm just the messenger. That's why I don't show these to anyone.

Though Marie did catch me playing the _14__th__ Melody_once. He told me it was the most stunning piece he'd ever heard, that it was filled with a sense of loss and hope that most composers couldn't capture with an entire orchestra, much less a single piano. I thanked him for the complement, of course. Even if I didn't view the piece as mine (and I still don't), I couldn't exactly tell him where I'd gotten it. After that, he always asked me whether I'd written something new. The only other time I'd relented and let him in on a song was when I heard _Lala's Lullaby_. All of Maria's pieces are masterful, but that one remains my personal favorite.

I looked up at the clock on the wall. Noon. With a sigh I got up. My shift at Hot Topic started in 3 hours. I still needed to clean up, eat, and _get there_, which was gonna be a chore when my whole body protested my every movement. But with Cross's threat looming over my head, I didn't really have a choice.

* * *

It was not a fun day. No position was comfortable, and all I wanted to do was lie down and sleep some more; forget the world. Plus, it was a Saturday, which meant that that the mall was full of people, which meant _no breaks_. My one stroke of luck, if you can call it that, was that my shift wasn't together with Road. She has a penchant for hugs, and she's pretty sharp, too. I'm sure she'd have noticed something was up. (Though, if I think about it, I was also pretty lucky that Cross didn't do any real damage to my face. I was able to cover up the bruise on my chin with make-up.)

After my shift finished, I headed over to the piano store. I'd talked to the owner a couple days back, asked him if they needed help. He asked me to play a couple pieces, to test my skill level. I chose Chopin's Nocturne in A-flat major, Op.32 No.2. He told me that was all he needed, and hired me as a part-time piano instructor. One of the perks was that I got to use the pianos in the store when they weren't occupied by customers. Don't get me wrong, the piano I have back at the house is great, but there's still a difference between professional and average home pianos. Plus, the atmosphere is entirely different here. I took one of the pianos in a back room and began to play.

_Lacrimosa dies illa _

_Qua resurget ex favilla _

_Judicandus homo reus. _

_Huic ergo parce, Deus: _

_Pie Jesu Domine _

_Judicandus homo reus. _

_Huic ergo parce, Deus: _

_Pie Jesu Domine_

* * *

**So? How was it? I hope you enjoyed! :) **

**Thank you to everyone who supports me in my endeavors to write something interesting. I still have a long way to go in my writing, and your follows, favorites, and reviews mean so much to me! :) **

**Love, **

**-Red**


	18. The Pianist

**Disclaimer: Yeah, surprise, surprise, DGM is still not mine. **

**Author's Note: I know that I just asked today, and I'm gonna give you guys a few days to respond, but my question remains. Is Lucky cool? I hope so. **

**Enjoy! **

* * *

**Kanda POV**

* * *

I groaned as I stretched.

Both Lavi and Tykki had ended up spending the night. We'd had fun, I think. We watched a bunch of horror flicks. The two insisted it was to 'get into the Halloween spirit'. But honestly, Lavi and Tykki spent a lot of the time arguing; I couldn't figure out whether they liked each other or not. Either way, it's not like it affects me. Anyway, they didn't leave until around 10 am this morning. To see them go out the door was a huge relief. Geez, don't those two know the meaning of 'overstaying your welcome'? But I guess that to others sleeping over for a night at a friend's house might not count, and I'm pretty sure they realize that to me, being in my presence for more than 5 seconds can count as 'overstaying your welcome'.

Once they were gone I set about cleaning up the house and making myself lunch (soba). After that I meditated for a little while, then proceeded to do my homework and study up a little. I had an AP English test on Monday, and though I'd undoubtedly study tomorrow as well, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. And it's never a bad idea to be ahead.

Around 6 pm I decided that I'd go to the mall. Hopefully by this point the annoying day crowds had disappeared. There were multiple crafting stores in the mall, and I needed to get myself a new set of oil paints. I will vehemently deny it to anyone who asks, especially to Master, but I actually enjoy painting. It calms me down, somehow.

By 7 I was in the mall, and by 7:30 I was ready to leave. I'd gotten my paints, and some new brushes, as well. I'd deliberated on a new canvas, but then I'd remembered that I had a bunch still lying around at home. On my way out I passed a piano store and stopped dead, looking towards it. _I recognize that melody_.

Marie had played it a few times. He told me it was composed by one of his students, a real virtuoso. And even I had to admit it was gorgeous. It was haunting and sorrowful, and seemed to touch the listener's very soul. Glancing around, I noticed that other people had stopped to listen as well. I changed direction, entering the shop.

_What the Hell is Marie doing all the way out here? And why didn't he tell me he was gonna be in town?_ I wondered to myself as I followed my ears through the store, eventually rounding a corner and entering the room the playing was coming from. Not even glancing at the pianist, I growled out,

"What are you doing here, Marie?"

The playing immediately stopped and a voice gasped, "Ba-BaKanda?!"

My head immediately whipped up, and my glare fixed itself on the white-haired boy sitting at the piano. "Moyashi? What are _you _doing here? How do you know Marie's song?"

"It's Allen, BaKanda!" The kid yelled back, but then his expression changed to shock. "Wait, did you just say _Marie_? As in, _Noise Marie_?"

"Che. Who else?"

"H-How do you know Marie, Kanda?"

"He's my older brother, obviously. How do _you_ know him? And how do you know _Lala's Lullaby_?"

"Marie was my piano teacher back in England. And I know the _Lullaby_ because I was the one who wrote it!" He paused, seeming to search me with his silver eyes. "How do _you_ know it?"

"Che. Marie used to play it all the time. He said it was a work of pure genius." My eyes widened. _Did I really just say that?_ I rushed to fix my mistake, "His words, not mine," I reiterated, looking away.

"Oh." I glanced back at him, and noticed that there was a slight blush on his cheeks, and a small smile on his lips. He also tucked his hair back behind his ear in embarrassment. _Cute…_

I whirled away again. _No! Not cute! Annoying! That's right – he's an annoying brat who thinks he's better than anyone else, even me!_ I couldn't help myself though, I glanced back. He was standing at the piano, seeming to consider what to do. I turned my back to him and walked away, stopping for a moment in the doorway.

"Finish the song. You were playing well."

And with that I left. I didn't look back to see what face he made, but the melody followed me out as I left the store.

* * *

When I got home I felt irritation overwhelm me. _I was fucking __nice__ to him again! Damn it, why does he have to remind me so much of Alma…?_

With a sigh I sat down on the couch then looked around. I noticed the picture Lavi had asked me about a while back – a photo of Alma and I, laughing into the camera. _Things were so different back then. Back then… Back then, I still believed I might be happy one day._

"Che," I growled, getting up again.

I paused for a moment, indecisive. _I'm trying to turn over a new leaf_… Then I shrugged. _Oh well… The point isn't to stop smoking, just to stop it interfering in my daily life. And my homework's done and everything, so I guess… Why not?_ Having made my decision, I headed for my room in order to leave reality.

* * *

**So, how was it? :) [Finally, a hint of Yullen!] **

**Thank you all for your support! It really does mean a lot to me! :) **

**Stay Awesome, **

**-Red**


	19. It's a Small and Painful World

**Disclaimer: In case you weren't aware, I do not own DGM. **

**Author's Note(s): 1) The Lucky question still stands. The people who weighed in mostly seemed ok with it, though, so unless there's an overwhelming outcry, Lucky is probably gonna end up becoming a secondary pairing. 2) Starting now, I'd like to really set the plot ball rolling. If you think it's going too fast, though, PLEASE TELL ME. **

**Warnings: references to abuse; references to loss**

**Enjoy! :) **

* * *

**Allen POV**

* * *

I stared at my reflection in the mirror.

_"Finish the song. You were playing well."_

I saw a blush grace my features as Kanda's words echoed in my head. Even said in his gruff voice, it was a complement, no matter how you looked at it. And _especially_ because it was him. Coming from Kanda, a statement like that was practically a love song.

I struggled to stop the grin from a appearing, but failed miserably. Until I touched my cheek and had to pull my hand away with a curse; I'd almost forgotten about the bruise on my chin. With a resigned sigh, I began to get to work on removing the cover-up. After the make-up was gone, I took a shower, hissing as the water caused my scars to sting. Strangely enough, I'd always found that showering or bathing was the most painful part of the self-harm process. _I wonder why…?_

After I was finished, I got dressed in loose-fitting pajamas, and then proceeded to make myself dinner. After a quick look around the kitchen, I decided on Borsch. While making the stew, I multitasked, using the time when it didn't require my immediate and undivided attention to work on my homework. After I'd eaten, I continued studying. If I was gonna get the money Cross wanted from me, I was gonna need to take on more jobs, which meant I'd better take advantage of study time while I had it. After all, I couldn't possibly let my grades drop; that was like losing. (To Kanda.) Besides, studying proved a suitable distraction from the soreness in my body. It wasn't perfect, but at least it was something…

At around midnight I finally decided to call it a night. As I was heading for the stairs, I noticed the piano out of the corner of my eye. Feeling inexplicably guilty, I walked over to it, having decided I'd play _Lala's Lullaby_ one more time before bed.

* * *

Monday morning came _way _too early, if you ask me. But it was a school day, and it had come, so there was nothing I could really do. 8:45 am found me sitting in the AP English classroom, running over my notes one last time before the test. I'd barely been at it for 3 minutes, though, before I noticed a grumpy samurai stride into the room.

"Hey," I called hesitantly, wondering whether he might respond. A very convincing voice in the back of my head was telling me this was a bad idea, and that Kanda's kind words the other day had just been a part of his seemingly characteristic mood swings.

Much to my surprise, however, he actually muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a "Hey" back, nodding towards me as he did so. Then he sat down and took out his notes, obviously wanting to get in a couple more minutes of cramming before class started. Figuring he was probably right, for once, I decided to copy him, and get back to studying.

* * *

Lunch found me sitting with Lavi and Lenalee, as per usual.

"So… You'll never guess what happened this morning," I began.

"You mean, other than an absolutely horrific AP English test?" Lenalee asked.

"Yeah," I answered, giving her an apologetic look. "Kanda greeted me again, and this time he even managed a 'hey' beside the nod!"

"Really?" Lenalee immediately perked up. "How unusual of him!"

"Oh, that's not the only unusual thing he's done of late," Lavi interjected with a smug grin. "Last Friday, he let Tykki Mikk and I sleep over at his place."

"WHAT?!" Both Lenalee and I nearly screeched.

"What did you guys _do_?" I questioned, raising a disbelieving eyebrow. "Beat him unconscious and tie him to a chair?"

"Nope. I spent about 3 hours with him in the training room. Then Tykki popped up while we were in the shower, then Kanda made us food, and then we watched horror movies until 3 am. And in the morning, he made _pancakes_. Tykki and I didn't get out of there until around 10."

"Has he lost his mind?" Lenalee seemed genuinely concerned.

Lavi merely shrugged. "If this is what happens when Kanda loses his mind, I say it should stay lost."

We all sat silent for a bit, eating. After a while, something occurred to me. "So… Tykki Mikk. What did you think of him?"

"He seemed like a cool guy," Lavi mused, "I mean, a bit perverted, maybe, but still pretty cool." Then a slight frown covered his face. "Though, he _can_ be a bit annoying. Honestly, once you get him talking, he never shuts up."

Lenalee and I chuckled. "Sort of like you, then?" She teased.

"Exactly like me, actually," I mellow voice spoke up from behind Lavi.

We all looked up to find a tall, tan, black-haired, honey-eyed, beauty-marked male looking down at us with a grin on his face.

"Tykki!" Lavi exclaimed.

"Hey, kiddo! Sorry about butting in; I was just passing when I overheard my name."

I gestured to the seat beside me, thinking that he looked vaguely familiar. "Wanna sit down?"

"Sure," he shrugged nonchalantly, elegantly seating himself beside me, straight across from Lavi.

I knew I was being rude, but I couldn't stop staring. _Why is he so familiar?_

"Like what you see, boy?" He smirked at me.

I turned bright red. "No! It's just… I think you might look like someone I know…"

"Sounds like you're coming on to me," He laughed, giving me a Cheshire grin that _immediately_ made me realize who he reminded me of.

"Road!" I gasped.

"Huh?"

"Sorry… But… ummm… Would you by any chance be related to a girl named Road Kamelot?"

"What…? You know Road?" He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Yeah. We work together."

"Huh. Interesting. And your name is…?"

"Oh, sorry. I'm Allen Walker."

"Walker… Where have I heard that name before…?" He paused for a moment, thinking, and then burst out laughing. "Holy crap! You're the new kid that Kanda punched in AP Calc!"

"Yeah, that's me…"

"Huh. Small world."

"How long have you known Kanda, Tykki?" Lenalee asked, reminding me that she and Lavi were there. I felt completely embarrassed. I'd gotten absorbed in my conversation with Tykki, and left them out. _Stupid Allen…_

"Since he was about 10. We met just a little before the Alma incident."

This time all three of us looked at him funny. "Alma?"

His eyes widened. "You… don't know about Alma?"

We all looked at each other and shook our heads. Even Lavi seemed out of the loop.

"Shit. He's gonna kill me."

Lenalee leaned forward. "Please, what is an _Alma_?"

"Not _what_ but _who_," Tykki muttered with a sigh. "Look, I know you, Lavi, and Kanda's spoken about you guys too, Allen, Lenalee. So… on account of the fact that you're Kanda's friends and I'm assuming you won't leave me alone now that I made the mistake of bringing it up, I'll fill you in, on _one_ condition."

We all nodded eagerly.

"You _don't_ bring it up to Kanda. _Ever_. He'll know I was the one that told you, and I'll be rewarded for that by ending up dead in a ditch. You got me?"

We all nodded, both in acceptance and agreement.

"Ok, then look. Alma was a childhood friend of Kanda's. They basically grew up together. But Alma died when they were both 10 years old. It kinda left Kanda with a hole in his heart. It was after that that he started closing himself off towards others." Tykki leaned back a little. "Now, don't get me wrong. Kanda was never open and loving; it just got a lot worse after Alma passed away. Something tells me that there's probably more to it than I know about, but he won't tell me anything. Every time the subject comes up, he starts yelling."

Lavi's head shot up. "The photograph!"

"Huh?" Tykki looked at him with furrowed brows.

"Once, I found a picture in Yuu-chan's house of him when he was around 8 years old, grinning at the camera along with a purple-haired boy with a birthmark on his nose. When I showed it to him, and asked who it was, he started yelling. Was that Alma?"

Tykki nodded, "Sounds like him, yeah."

We all sat in silence for a bit, contemplating what we'd just learned. Except for Tykki – I'm pretty sure he was wondering whether Kanda would torture him first, or just kill him right away.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed! :) **

**Author's Note: Yeah, Tykki turned into sort of a blabbermouth. But honestly, I don't think that's _too_ far from his canon character. He's often done things in the manga that seem like stuff a Noah shouldn't do. (Offering Allen and co. a way off the Ark, telling them that Noah _can_ die, ect.) **

**Thank you to all the lovely people who have read, favorited, followed, and reviewed! I am so grateful! :)**

**See Ya Next Time, **

**-Red**


	20. True Friends Find the Hidden Meaning

**Disclaimer: Hey, did you know? I don't own DGM! **

**Author's Note: Lucky question still stands... blah blah blah**

**Warnings: Kanda has a mouth and a temper [so virtually nothing]**

* * *

**Kanda POV**

* * *

"YOU _TOLD THEM ABOUT __ALMA_?!"

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. So let me paint you a fucking picture. The stoic, noble, and _really fucking pissed off_ samurai Yuu Kanda has the treacherous _bastard_ Tykki Mikk pinned to a wall by his neck with a sword. Tykki, terrified for his life (and rightly so) appears to be begging for some sort of forgiveness, his arms raised in a gesture of 'innocence'.

"K-Kanda! Please stop! Look, it was an accident, I swear!"

"What the fuck do you mean, 'it was an accident'?" I growled.

Tykki was staring at something over my shoulder (presumably my inner demon) as he stuttered his fake-ass excuse. "They're your friends! I-I figured they knew! Es-Especially that Lavi kid – he seems to know everything!"

_"So?_" I continued to beam my murderous intent into his eyes. He gulped.

"So… It just slipped out! I'm sorry! I swear it'll never happen again! And… and besides! I barely told them anything. A-All I said was that you and Alma were childhood friends, and that he died! That's it! I didn't even tell them _how_!"

"You swear?"

"Yes. Yes. I swear." He insisted, attempting to nod, then reconsidering.

I glared at him for another minute, watching him sweat. Then, with an irritated sigh, I let him go and sheathed my sword.

"Forget it. You're not worth going to jail over."

I stormed off into the kitchen, and heard him follow hesitantly. The two of us were in my house – after the events of earlier, I had invited him back to my place, and cornered him the moment we got in. I gritted my teeth in an irritated growl. Why did Tykki have to be such a blabbermouth?

* * *

_"Kanda?" _

_I turned to find myself face-to-face with Lenalee. "What?" _

_"Why didn't you tell us? We're your friends! We could have helped you!" _

_"Huh?" _

_"After everything, going to Daisya's funeral… It must have been so hard! Why didn't you ask us for help? Don't you realize we're here for you?" _

_"Lenalee, what the actual ever-loving fuck are you on about?" I snapped, totally lost. _

_"I'm talking about Alma!" _

_That stopped me dead. "What… do you know about Alma?" _

_"I know you cared for him," she began with sadness in her voice and eyes. "And I know you still miss him."_

_"Who told you about Alma?" I asked, opting to pretend to be polite for the moment. _

_"It doesn't matter. We know now, and we want to help." _

_"We? Who's __we__?" _

_"Lavi, Allen, and I." _

_I took a deep breath. __Ok, think, Kanda, think. Who knows about Alma, and knows Lenalee and… _**_Lavi_**_. Damn it, Tykki… __I didn't even attempt to continue the conversation with Lenalee. I just stormed off, looking for blood._

* * *

"Ummm… Should I still be in fear of my imminent annihilation?"

"Depends. Are you staying for tea?"

"Depends. What's the right answer?"

I sighed. "Yes."

He sat down. I busied myself with the tea, deciding on a simple green. _I need to calm down._ Once everything was ready I plunked his cup down in front of him and sat down with mine, as well. Despite everything, I guess it's a good thing I've known Tykki for so long. He can read the hidden meaning beneath my words, and I can read the hidden meaning in his.

"Should I be worried about poison?" _Have you forgiven me?_

"Killing you would be a pain." _Sort of_.

"Well, sometimes I deserve it." _I'm sorry_.

"And sometimes you don't." _Apology accepted_. "But if you weren't such an idiot, you'd _never_ deserve it." _Just don't do it again_.

"I know. I'll remember that next time." _Agreed. I really __am__ sorry_.

We shared a look that _proved_ we'd both understood.

"Well," Tykki began, finishing his tea, "We can't do what we usually do to make up, seeing as how it's a school night, but you wanna do something anyway? Sparring, maybe?"

"Aren't you afraid I'll hurt you?" I questioned with a smirk.

"Nah. And besides, I need the practice. No one else is as good as you," he smirked back.

We fought for 2 hours. Once we'd finished, I made tea again, and we made small talk while we drank. He left a little after 6, and as he walked away from the house I yelled after him:

"The blade isn't sharpened, you know!" And with that I slammed the door.

* * *

**Author's Note: He may seem like a jerk, but Kanda's just a big softy inside! *Squee!* [And don't even _try_ to convince me it isn't canon. I _will_ cite examples.] **

**I hope you enjoyed! :) **

**Thank you again to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, and reviewed! I love you ALL! :) **

**Stay Awesome, **

**-Red**


	21. Kindred Spirits

**Disclaimer: I don't own DGM. **

**Author's Note: Yeah... Ummm... How do y'all feel about crack pairings? 'Cause there's one that I have a soft spot for, though it's weird... **

**Warnings: references to loss; hints at past abuse; discussion of underage drinking**

**Enjoy! :) **

* * *

**Allen POV**

* * *

All throughout AP English, I felt as if someone was watching me, with every intention of cursing the life right out of my body. When I finally dared look, I found myself gazing into the bottomless black pits of Kanda's eyes. At that moment I could have sworn that somewhere in their depths I saw the red glow of the Hellfire I had the sudden fear was going to consume me. I gulped. _What the heck did I do_…?

When the bell rang I made a beeline for the door, and managed to get away. Though somehow, I couldn't help feeling like I was a trapped mouse and Kanda was a panther, just biding his time, letting his prey squirm under the gaze of the inescapable predator and the situation's inevitable end. Near the end of AP Chemistry, I broke out in a cold sweat. Lunch was next… Could I escape?

As it turned out, I couldn't. Before I even realized what was happening, I'd been pushed out a side door and pinned to a wall, Kanda's hand covering my mouth. _If I weren't in fear of my life right now, this might actually turn me on… No! Wait! Bad Allen! Bad imagination! Kanda is totally off limits!_

"Hey, Moyashi," the demon growled in my ear, making me start, then shudder as he continued, "I have a bone to pick with you."

"W-What is it?" I managed to respond, as he'd removed his hand. "And it's Allen, BaKanda! Or are you too stupid to remember it?" _Shit. Probably should have thought that one through._

His eyes narrowed. "Today is _not_ the day to mess with me, baka moyashi. Now – what did Tykki tell you?"

I was a bit taken aback. Whatever it was I'd expected, it wasn't this. Remembering what I'd heard from Tykki yesterday cooled my temper immediately, and so I answered calmly and honestly:

"He told us that you were childhood friends with a guy named Alma, and that Alma died when the two of you were 10 years old."

"That's it?" He seemed suspicious of my answer.

"Yes."

Kanda released me and looked away. "Right, ok then. Now get out of here, Moyashi."

But I didn't move. Alma was obviously a sore spot for the Kanda, and I couldn't help feeling a sort of kinship. Childhood trauma; the loss of a loved one… _Mana_…

"I… I know how you feel," I murmured.

"No you don't," he retorted.

"I lost my father," I blurted after a moment, watching him from the corner of my eye.

"So I've heard. Cross Marian disappears pretty often, and always turns up in the arms of a woman half his age," he snorted. There was a deep-seated anger in his eyes. _He thinks I'm making fun of him_... I realized, somewhere through the red fog of my own rage at his response.

My voice shook as I hissed back, "_That man_ is not my father. He's my foster father, nothing more, you _ass_."

Kanda's eyes widened a bit as he moved towards me again. He looked like he was about to say something, but I didn't wait – I pushed him away and stormed off, enraged. To make the allegation that _Cross_ was my father wasn't just insensitive, it was cruel. That man was a blight on the face of the earth, and deserved to die in a hole.

While I stomped my way through the halls, I began to calm down. Kanda had no way of knowing what Cross was like towards me. _Kanda's just like me… He has a lot of pain inside, and he deals with it by pushing others away. Where I put on a fake smile and act like nothing's wrong, he acts like an annoying bastard to prevent people from even __wanting__ to get close_. I passed a window and looked at my reflection. _That's it, isn't it? _

_Still,_ I thought with an irritated sigh, _just because we're similar, doesn't mean we can get along. No matter how I look at it, he's still an ass._

* * *

"All right, spill. Which one of you told him?" I asked, seating myself at the table with Lavi and Lenalee.

"Actually, I'd be curious to know that, too," Tykki stated coolly as he sat down beside me. "Seeing as that person nearly cost me my head."

_Where the Hell did he come from…?_ I wondered; I hadn't noticed him come up at all.

"Told who what?" Lavi asked, eye open wide.

"Kanda about me telling you guys about Alma," Tykki responded.

"That was me," Lenalee confessed, seeming completely unembarrassed, "but I didn't tell him it was you."

"Well then, you underestimated his intelligence, because he figured it out right quick."

"And how did he react?" Lavi leaned forward, curious.

"I just told you – he nearly took off my head."

"And mine!" I interjected.

"Well, I'm sorry about that. But I still feel that this is something that he needs to talk to someone about. Bottling it up can't be good for him. Now at least if he wants to talk, he knows there are people he can go to."

"You know, I don't really see that happening, Lenalee," I laughed in disbelief.

"I agree," Tykki nodded.

"But…" Lavi's eye glinted as he thought out loud. "Maybe a little alcohol could lighten him up! The Old Panda's away this weekend as well. What do you say? A party, my place, this Friday, 8 pm. Well?" He looked around at us eagerly.

"Sure, I'm in," Tykki grinned.

Lenalee put a finger to her chin in thought. "Actually, I do believe that could work. My brother's being dragged off for the whole weekend on some Black Order business. I might be a bit late, but…"

I considered my work schedule. My shift at the piano store lasted until 6 pm, and my Saturday shift at Hot Topic didn't start until 3. "I have work, so I might be a bit late too, but I can make it."

"Awesome!" Lavi fist-pumped the air.

"So… Question. Could I invite someone else? Just one person," Tykki inquired.

"Sure, who?" Lavi shrugged.

"Road Kamelot. She's a relative that happens to be friends with both Kanda and Allen."

I nodded in affirmation, grinning. "She's pretty cool."

"All right then! It's a party~!"

"I'll get Kanda to come," Tykki smirked.

"How?" I wondered out loud.

"Oh… I have my ways…"

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed! :) **

**Thank you again to everyone that read, favorited, followed, and/or reviewed my story! I love you all! **

**Author's Note: I'm rereading DGM, and I swear, if Kanda wasn't Allen's... Because he's just so... YUM! **

**XOXO, **

**-Red**


	22. Apologies Are Difficult

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I think you should all rejoice that I don't own DGM, because I'm not _nearly_ as inventive in my plot lines at Katsura Hoshino sensei. We all wish her the best! **

**Author's Note(s): 1) [Gonna do this all in one go...] So these are the pairings I would like to include in future, though obviously merely as side pairings, because we're all here for the Yullen, not the others. a) Reever x Komui [this would be like Fo and Bak - strictly in the background]; b) Tykki x Lavi; c) Lenalee x Road [I've had a fondness for this pair ever since I read Amongst the Crowd by CoCo Krispies; it's one of the oldest Yullen fics on this site - check it out :)] 2) I think Kanda turned out a little OOC in this one, and I'm really sorry about that. I completely rewrote this chapter once, _and_ revised it at least 5 times, but he still seems a bit... off. I just can't get it right! Writing is hard...! *Sobs* **

**Warnings: mentions of underage smoking, drinking, and drug use**

**Enjoy! :) **

* * *

**Kanda POV**

* * *

_Damn it, why do I have to feel so guilty about what I said to that stupid moyashi? He should have been clearer! It's no wonder I misunderstood!_ I sighed in annoyance as I finished the last problem of my AP Chemistry homework, stretching my arms. Then I got up with an irritated growl as I heard the doorknob jiggle. As I neared the door I could hear some sort of clicking near the lock.

"Hello, Tykki," I sighed, opening it for him.

He got up from his spot on the ground, looking slightly embarrassed. "Hey…!"

Suddenly a small purple form jumped into my arms. "Kanda…!"

"Hello, Road," I responded with an almost-smile, glancing up at Tykki. "Did he drag you along to make sure I wouldn't kill him?"

"Yes and no! But that's for later; do you have candy?"

I nodded and led her inside, leaving Tykki to close the door and trail after.

Once in the kitchen I proceeded to make sour cherry tea, while the two sat down. Well, actually, Tykki sat down; Road hopped up again a moment later to open a window, as Tykki had already pulled out a cigarette. While she was up, I placed the candy bowl in front of her seat. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek as a 'thank you' before she sat down to work. We waited for the tea in a companionable silence. Both Tykki and Road can talk a lot, but they also know how to appreciate silence, and I like that. Finally, I poured the tea into cups, putting a pot of honey down in front of Road. The added a rather generous helping to her tea.

"So…" Tykki began, "Lavi's holding a party this weekend…"

"Absolutely not!" I snapped.

"Aww… Come on, Kanda! I'm going, too!" Road whined, sending a pouty face my way. _Damn it, this is why he brought her…_

"Why should I have to go?"

"Because you need to get out of this house," Tykki responded. "All you do is attend school, study, practice kendo, and smoke pot. Even as your dealer, I think you need to get out more. Being stuck in here can't be good for your health."

"Because cigarettes, pot, and alcohol are?"

"You smoke at most 2 cigarettes a week, marijuana is used in medicine for a reason, and you drink about twice a year." He leveled his gaze at me. "_And_ you eat well and exercise more than anyone I know. Trust me, your health is in no real danger."

"Che." I rolled my eyes. _Touché_.

"Come, on, Kanda, just this once," Road begged.

I heaved another sigh then gave in. "Fine." Then I had a thought – something I definitely should have thought of earlier. "Who else is gonna be there?"

"Just us, Lavi, Lenalee, and Allen," Tykki shrugged, "Nothing major."

_Uggghhhh… Crap. After what occurred today, being in close quarters with the moyashi is gonna be __really__ awkward…_

"Kanda? You ok?" I noticed that Road was looking at me in concern. _Damn her and her ability to read people's emotions…_

"Yeah, well, uhhh… I kinda… had a talk earlier with the moyashi… It… didn't end well…" I muttered.

"Did you punch him in the face again?" Tykki chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but I think I might as well have…"

Road sighed. "All right, spill. What happened?"

_Crap, that's right, she's friends with him! Damn it, this just got sooo much messier._ There was nothing I could really do though, considering I'd brought it up. So I just gave in and told them what had transpired.

"Hmmm… So you misunderstood him, and ended up insulting him? Doesn't seem _that_ serious…" Tykki said with a shrug.

"Tykki, are you an idiot?" Road questioned with a roll of her eyes, "The topic was Allen's _deceased father_. Of _course_ it's gonna be a touchy subject for him. It's like someone insulting Alma in front of Kanda! Though, I admit Allen seems a touch less likely to physically harm the individual who made the mistake of doing so. But anyways. The similarity of their situations is exactly the reason he brought it up, to show Kanda that he really _does_ understand, and isn't just saying it."

"Right. Sorry." He turned to me. "So what're you gonna do?"

I glared at my teacup. "I don't know. Road, what do you think?"

Road sighed again – I seem to be causing her to do that quite often as of late. "I think you need to apologize. Look, Kanda… We both know this isn't easy for you. Tykki and I have been your friends for so long that even when we argue, we never have to physically say the 2 magic words. Or one contraction and one word – however you prefer. But Allen doesn't know you that well. If you want him to forgive you, you're gonna have to spell it out for him."

I nodded resignedly. _That's what I was afraid of…_

"Don't worry. I'll talk to him tomorrow at work, and you can go apologize on Thursday. Sound fair? That way, it's taken care of before the party."

"Che. Whatever." _Damn. I guess there's no getting out of it now…_

"Hey, so guess what?" Tykki asked us (rhetorically, I presume), after a few minutes of silence, in order to ease (what he thought was) the tension (I think), "I saw Bak Chang kiss Fo today! And she hit him so hard he got knocked out!"

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed! :) **

**Please tell me what you thought! :) **

**And thank you again to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, and/or reviewed my story! It means so much to me! :) **

**Luv Ya, **

**-Red**


	23. Discoveries

**Disclaimer: Obviously DGM is not mine. If it were, Allen and Kanda would have screwed at least once already. **

**Author's Note: I may not update for a couple of days after this, and I'm really sorry about that. It's just that I have exams, and there is no logical way to pass of writing fanfiction as studying. [Trust me; I've tried.] **

**Warnings: traces of ptsd; complex due to other people's homophobia [If there's a more complicated and scientific name for this, please tell me!]; Kanda has a mouth, and Allen sort of does, too**

**Enjoy! :) **

* * *

**Allen POV**

* * *

"Allen~!"

I grinned as Road threw her arms around me. The tiny girl seemed to _love_ physical contact. It wasn't in any way romantic or sexual; it was just affectionate. She's sort of child-like in that way. Honestly, it's no wonder people assume she's younger than she is – she already _looks_ like a middle schooler, and her character just makes her appear even younger. Though she's not nearly as childlike once you get to know her. She shows a remarkable amount of tact and acceptance, and sometimes I feel like there's a vicious vein in her, too, when it comes to defending her friends.

"Hey! What's up?"

"Well… I was wondering…"

"Yes?"

"You told me you'd do my makeup sometime, right?" She put her hands together and smiled up at me encouragingly.

"Yes…" We hadn't discussed it since then, though…

"So… Do you think you might be able to do it this Friday? For the party?"

"…Sure. Though, we'll definitely be late, then. My shift at the piano store doesn't end until 6," I informed her apologetically. I still felt an undercurrent of nervousness talking to Road about makeup. Even though she'd given me no reason as of yet to distrust her, I know full well how cruel people can be.

"Yay! Thank you, Allen!" She squealed, actually going so far as to kiss me on the cheek after she'd caught me in her bear hug.

I blushed a dark shade of crimson. "Road!" But as she twirled away happily, I couldn't help but smile. Then I had a thought that just popped my bubble all over again.

"R-Road?" I began hesitantly.

"Hmmm?" She responded, turning back to me.

"Would you mind… keeping the makeup thing… just between us?"

Her eyes softened as she laid a small hand on my arm. It was my left, and so a barely managed to stop myself from flinching back.

"Of course I'll keep it a secret. But you know…" She murmured, staring earnestly into my eyes, "I don't think it's anything to feel ashamed of. Makeup is an _art form_. Even if there are some assholes who'd judge, I don't think any of your friends are like that."

She smiled at me encouragingly, but I pulled away. "No. I… I don't want them to know." I clutched my left arm, looking away from her.

"Like I said, I won't tell. I'm just saying that maybe you should have a little more faith in people," she suggested with a shrug, laying her hand on my shoulder (the right one this time, thank goodness). She kept it there for a few seconds before moving away to help a customer.

_Is she right? Should I maybe try… putting my faith in people again?_

* * *

The next afternoon found me in front of the bathroom mirror, pots and pallets of makeup littered over every available surface, interspersed with eyeliners and makeup brushes. It was around 6, and I'd already spent more than 2 hours plotting and planning what kind of look to create for Road. And I was finally done. My eyelids were black, the undereye was purple, and there was a faint green shimmer in the inner corners. My lips were a purple-black ombre, the contouring was done in purple, and the blush was maroon. Powerful, dark, and _super awesome_, if I do say so myself.

After putting all my makeup supplies away, I went downstairs to get myself a drink. (I'd eaten earlier, so that I wouldn't have to mess up the artwork on my face.) Sitting down to a glass of orange juice (with a straw), I sent Road a quick text.

_Figured out what sort of look to do for you tomorrow. Make sure you're wearing either purple or black!_

Barely a minute later I got a reply.

_Can do! Thanks so much, Allen! You're awesome!_

I smiled a bit at that, then proceeded to begin my homework. I was just finishing up the final problem on the AP Calculus worksheet when I heard a hard knocking at the front door.

For a moment I froze. _Cross isn't supposed to be back until next week!_ When the knocking came again I pulled myself together and headed for the door. Hesitantly, I peered through the peephole to find… Kanda. I blinked. What was Kanda doing at my house?! Then, remembering that I was supposed to open the door for a guest, I unlocked it and pulled it open.

"Hey, Kanda," I greeted him quizzically. "Come on in."

Kanda meanwhile was looking at me as if he'd just seen a ghost. Then he seemed to mentally shake himself and he stepped through the entryway, taking his shoes off neatly.

"You can put your coat on the rack," I informed him, then continued, "Would you like something? Tea, maybe?"

He hung up his coat and nodded, then followed me inside, sitting down at the table as I made tea for him. We remained in complete silence until the tea was done and we were both sitting down. I felt like there was definitely tension in the air, but I still couldn't for the life of me figure out what exactly Kanda Yuu was doing in my house. I didn't dare ask, though.

"So… Moyashi…"

"It's Allen, BaKanda!" I snapped. _Did he come here just to annoy me?_

"Right." He sat there in silence for a while, looking into his teacup. He seemed to be deciding what to say, or how to say it. After a quiet 2-3 minutes, he finally spoke up. "I don't do this often, you know."

I stayed silent, wondering what the Hell he was talking about.

He looked away from me, as if deliberately avoiding my gaze. "I realize… that I might have said something… uncalled for. On Monday, I mean."

Was he blushing? It almost looked like he might be. _No way. That's gotta be a trick of the light._ And wait a minute… Was he actually attempting… _to apologize_? I stayed quiet, waiting with baited breath.

"So anyway… Yeah, sorry."

I barely even heard the last word, but despite that, I'm 100% certain it was there.

"It-It's ok," I began uncertainly, then steadied my voice a bit, "You didn't know."

There was silence again for a while, a lot more comfortable than before.

Finally he got up. "Well, thank you for the tea, and I'm sorry for interrupting. I can tell you were busy… I'll go now."

"Wait!" I almost reached out after him, then reconsidered. "I wasn't doing anything, really."

He stared at me in confusion, one eyebrow raised. "…You weren't going anywhere?"

I shook my head 'no'.

"But then… what's with the makeup?"

"What make-…" I felt my breath catch, like Cross had just kicked me in the stomach again. Slowly I raised a shaking hand to cover my mouth. My eyes widened. _I'm still in the makeup I planned for Road! How the Hell did I forget about that?_

"Moyashi? You ok? You seem a little pale…"

That shocked me right out of my reverie. "Kanda! Please! I'm begging you, please! Don't tell anyone!" I'd covered my whole face (or as much as I could) with my hands, and was getting very close to bursting into tears. A desperate idea struck me and my head snapped up. "I'll do anything!" I could feel the first tear begin to roll down my right cheek, and there was no way to stop it.

Kanda just stared at me in what I'd almost call confusion. Then he glared. "Stop crying! Jeez… Do I look like some sort of gossip monger?" He shook his head and looked away. "Besides, it's nothing to freak out over, is it? So you like art. Who the fuck cares?"

I was shocked. Kanda, of all people, was… ok with me? Ok with… _this_?

"Damnit, I hate idiot crybabies," Kanda hissed, then left the room.

It took a moment for it to register that he was leaving. But the moment it hit me I jumped up and ran for the door. He was just about to open it when I got there.

"Kanda!"

He turned back to face me. "What?"

I smiled brightly, though I'm sure it looked horrible, as my makeup was probably running all down my cheeks.

"Thank you!"

He stared at me for a moment before practically dashing out the door, slamming it behind him.

_There really must be something wrong with the lights in this house. For a moment there, I could have sworn he was blushing…_

* * *

**Well? Did you like it? ;) **

**Author's Note(s): 1) Let's hear it for tsundere Kanda! Yay~! 2) I just finished rereading the DGM manga yesterday and I just... ugghhh... WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO SAD?! **

**Thank**** you again to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, or reviewed my story! It really does mean so much to me! :) **

**Love, **

**-Red**


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